Ma bro is registering today!

time: 7:13 a.m.
venue: home
mood: happyyyyy
currently: woke up one hour ago, been online since then!

Endy,
today is a very exciting day for someone. someone that i love. yes, i love my bro, even though it's not visible. i really cant believe it. he's in college now. he's gonna be the man now. how interesting. i'm happy for him. he finally got to taste life on his own perspective.

it seems like yesterday i feed him food when he was little. it feels like yesterday when i send him to day care. it really seems like yesterday when we watched Dragon Ball cartoon on TV2 in Saturday morning. eating Koko Crunch, drinking chocolate flavoured milk (his favourite) and waiting for our parents to be awake. bro, i didnt realize that you're growing up. i was just too busy with my fucked up life. honestly, i miss our childhood. the life full of fun.

anyways, history is history. can't be repeat. can't be undo. the most important thing now is to look forward to our future and have a successful life. i'll always wish for the best. i know you can do this. whatever problems that our family have, just tossed it aside. life is just beginning for you. cherish this moment before it ends. i'm really glad that you made it to college. i'm glad that you don't have to be like me. the loser of the family. hope's on you, bro.

yesterday, i went to Guardian pharmacy, to buy lots of stuff for myself. i knew Guardian is having their 42nd anniversary sales. so, i bought face mask, shampoo, razor, hygiene wash, shaving gel, acne cream(very important) and a liquid foundation. yes, i bought that liquid foundation because i wanna try it out. it's new from Maybelline. lol. i wear mix product of make up. but the usual thing i buy is Estee Lauder(everything), Maybelline(foundation and mascara), Shu Eumura (only their eye shadow) and Elianto (their eyeliner is cool!). ok ok... WTF am i listing this shit for. my point just now is to tell you how much i spent for the item. i spent only RM100.55 for all that 7 items. cheap huh? really cheap.

actually, it has been my habit to buy my stuff during promotions. this is where we can save money. i'm just a student. i dont have much money to spend on luxurious branding items. so, SALES is my best buddy. i have yet to buy my day and night dream. it's finishing. esp my day cream. this shows that i'm always lazy to put on my night cream after i wash my face! lol. usually, i will wash it, then apply toner, then i'm gonna be browsing the net! totally forgotten the cream part! or sometimes i'm just too lazy to put it on. lol. that is how you can sometimes see my skin is having one or two acne. agrrhhhh i hate that word. acne. go away from me!

ok, i've crap too much. time to get ready. i need to stop a cab to Hilton PJ. why? too lazy to drive. since my dad is here, why not hop on to his MPV. dont you think? lol.

See you next time Endy. love ya!

excited,
Tash

A present for my brother!

time: 10.36 a.m.
venue: Bukit Jalil
mood: excited for him
currently: thinking of nice words to write to him

Endy,
My family reach this afternoon in KL. they're sending my bro to study in Cheras. for heaven's sake i cant remember the name of the college. i'll tell you later when i find out on it. i went to Carrefour before i meet them. bought groceries. then, i was thinking, what will i get for my bro? i mean, as a welcome gift for him. a gift that will symbolize student life, a creative multimedia student life.

YES. he took the exact same course that i had 2 years back. reason? honestly, cant think of any. what i know of him, he likes 3D animation. so, i guess after this diploma, he's gonna continue on 3D. as for me, i'm more to graphic. i love illustrator. ok, stop talking bout me. this entry is dedicated to Nazrul. i knew he's excited to start his new life. being a student is the best thing ever in life.

for while, i stunt. i really dont know what to give. let's face it, i'm not close to any of my bro. so, i dont know what's their favourite stuff. finally, i grab a set of colourful pen. yeah, might sounded lame but i think this is a good gift. a gift that he could use and cherish at the same time. he loves to draw. he could use it for drawing or taking notes or making mind map. and the colour symbolize a student life. FULL OF COLOUR. fun. insane. but still, juggling between work and play. that's for sure.

so, tomorrow i'm going to hand this pen set to him with a piece of paper written;

Bro, honestly i dont know what to get you. however, i think this is an appropriate gift for you. a colourful pen set just to start your first day of college. the colour shows how student life is like. you're a creative person. i bet you could use the most of it and come out with an excellent piece. WELCOME TO STUDENT LIFE. the best life of your lifetime. entering the college is a victory, but the best had yet to come. this is just the starting. work hard and dont forget to play hard. GOOD LUCK.

your sis,
Tash

Basic Photography Workshop (3 days)

Endy,
This is just an advertisement for my friend. A good friend of mine is having a Basic Photography Workshop on 24th, 25th and 26th of June. it's a small group workshop, so learning experience is enhanced and interaction between tutor is absolutely better. ok, i dont want to nag too much on this. why dont you just read the info below. PLEASE NOTE THAT I'M NOT INVOLVED IN THIS WORKSHOP. anything that you need, contact ZaminOmar himself. i just can assure you that he's a good person. he don't bite. lol. oh ya... the ad is in Malay. Enjoy.

edited info from Zamin:
This class consist of 3 important elements, which is:
1-marketing photography
2-basic editing photography
3-basic camera photography

P/s: i will update bout myself later at night. got few stuff to tell ya. bye!

came back from Lowyat,
Tash

Update from KL

time: 1.12 am
venue: Bukit Jalil, KL
mood: cheerful
currently: waiting for Faz to finish his business in the toilet, gonna Skype soon. lol.

Endy,
i reached KL yesterday and i was too tired to fix my laptop. i slept the whole day. it was really tiring. driving alone to KL. on Saturday, i cant sleep much. so Sunday morning, i became an early bird. i dont sleep, does that consider as early bird too? lol. IDK.

i started packing my luggage at 8.30 a.m. while frying fries. at 9 a.m. i took a bath and ate my fries while watching Desperate Housewife season 2. put on a simple + lazy make up (foundation-eyeliner-mascara-blusher-lipbalm) and start exporting my luggage to my car. next, i go upstairs to tell my mom that i'm leaving. she was still sleeping when i woke her up. mom gave me some money for the journey ( thank you mom!). i left the house at exactly 10 a.m.

it was kinda sad. i love my home. even though we're not as same as other family, and not as close as others, that's for sure, we're still family. we're still surviving from a cronic problems. we can still smile and pretend that we're happy family. i do appreciate that, mom, dad. anyways, my life now is in KL. i cant stand staying in Penang. they just wont accept my lifestyle. they cant accept my thinking. at least when i'm here, i'm surrounded by international students. some dude who can actually talk with open mind is here.

ok, the reason why i post this blog is to share my expenses from Penang to KL. just some info for others to share. my good friend, Faz, did post the same thing, his expenses from KL to Kedah. visit his blog for further info.

here is the sum for mine:

Car type: Perodua Viva 1.0 EX (auto)
Distance between Penang-KL : approximately 430km + 13.5km of Penang bridge
Fuel : i filled RM40 (my car still have 2 bar of petrol, so assuming RM10 per bar, means now it's 6 bar)
Toll : reloaded Touch N Go RM50, balance RM7, so it's about RM43
Speed : i was driving between 130-150km/hour.
Duration: 10 a.m. - 1.20 p.m. (yeah kinda hard to believe!)

when i reach Bukit Jalil, my car still have 2 bar of petrol. so, about RM40 for petrol. so total up will ber as follow;

RM40 + RM43 = RM83

that's all i wanna share. oh ya, another thing, Viva can't turn 45degrees with the speed above 130km/hour. so, please dont do it. lol. i almost crash myself. ok, see ya next time Endy.

back in town,
Tash

Bye Penang, Hello KL, Hello again.

time: 03.11 a.m.
venue: home
mood: happy and sad
currently: watching malay comedy

Endy,
i'm going back later in the afternoon. i felt so weird this time. as if something is telling me something. should i go back today or not? i bet he already depart from his hometown. god knows how much i miss him. can't wait to see him.

the thing is, i felt like i have incomplete task here in penang. another thing is, i start to feel the homesick. i'm gonna miss home. i know it's unfair for me to say that. he came back all the way abroad and i'm here nagging about how i'm gonna miss home.

sometimes i just hate KL. it is so fake. full of fake people. it's the place where i learn to be fake. it's also the place where i met all of those fake spoiled-brat kids. yeah, they do get onto my nerves sometimes, when they actually does complaint bout life. WTF are they thinking? they should consider themselves lucky. ok, enough on them. sick of it. i can go on and on coz i have too much story on them.

the most important thing now is, i have a big mission. two big mission actually. i have to try my best to get this degree. meanwhile, i have to complete my shop's planning. i have to launch it by this year. too much of postponing. if i get myself into LKW, means i have to juggle between work and studies. bigger responsibility means bigger commitment and less time for fun.

ok. let me stop crapping here. the real reason why i type this entry is because i want to ease my mind. and i wanna tell everyone of you to help me pray for this opportunity. i really need this degree. and i think i've earn enough to get it. i do deserve this. a 4.0 is my promise to my mom, my dad, everyone and most importantly, to myself.

PRAY HARD FOR ME, EVERYONE

crossroad,
Tash

God is giving me a hint?

time: 5.23 a.m.
venue: home
mood: happy?
currently: chatting with him.

Endy,
i dont know what is the real thing going on with my life now. yesterday i found out that Diana registered into LKW. Diana told me that Lila, former Georgian, wanted to join LKW as well. Farah Ang, another lucky friend, is flying to Queensland next month. her financial issue is solved. my brother is going to study in Cheras next week. So, what's the hint you're giving me, god? is this a click on my clueless mind? 

i just hope that this is not a false alarm. i dont want to be disappointed anymore.right now, i'm trying my best to put the little thing called HOPE far far away from me. i dont want to start hoping once again because when u did, you're just gonne ended up at the same crossroad once again. same old same old.

i'm going back to KL tomorrow. actually, i have lotsa plan ahead of me but i dont know which one to launch first. but one thing for sure, in college or not, my blog shop is gonna be up by this year. i've been postponing that shit for ages. right now i'm fighting the urges of postponing my trip to kl. omg. i'm such a lazy ass creature. as what my mom said, getting profit or not, is another long story. now, the most important thing is to try it out and get something out of it. 

i went to MARA office today and they told me to apply for LKW first, then apply for MARA. if my parent's salary is more than 70k per year then i can only get half of the loan. i dont mind. i just need them to settle my 19k per year fees. i might be able to skip 1st year. depending on the course i take. if i choose Creative Multimedia then i have higher chances that i could skip first year of degree. 

ok ok... no more thinking about degree.... think about your blog shop tash! 

REMINDER TO MYSELF: CONTACT MELITA FOR THE BLOG LAYOUT AND DESIGN!

do i have the honor of being a student,
Natasha

What a day....

TIME: 13.53
VENUE: HOME
MOOD: RELIEVED
CURRENTLY: JUST CAME BACK FROM JPJ, SEBERANG JAYA.

FINALLY SETTLED MY MOTORCYCLE STUFF, FROM THE INSURANCE, ROAD TAX, TO CHANGING NAME TO MOM'S NAME. MAKE IT EASIER FOR HER TO HANDLE ANYTHING BY HERSELF AND I DONT NEED TO COME BACK HERE JUST TO DO THIS. SO, NOW MY MOM OWN THREE CAR AND A BIKE. LOL. SHE DONT EVEN HAVE B2 LICENSE. 

NOW, WHY IS THIS ENTRY CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE IT'S SO DAMN IMPORTANT, ACT LIKE A REMINDER FOR MYSELF THAT I'VE DONE THE WHOLE JPJ THING AND I'M SO FREAKING HAPPY IT'S OVER. DEALING WITH GOVERNMENT IS THE LAST THING I WANNA DO. SUCH UNPLEASANT EXPERIENCE OCCURED. THAT'S ALL. BYE.

SETTLED,
TASH

Penang-KL this weekend, anyone?

time: 10.33 a.m.
venue: home
mood: stressed-out.
currently: worried bout something. writing this out, trying to ease my mind!

Endy,
sometimes it's kinda funny when people actually commented my post. it became even more hilarious when they comment a post that i considered as one of the shortest post i've ever type. not even considered as post. just a note. random note. 

to be honest, i dont have anything interesting to share today. i woke up kinda early today. about 5.30 a.m. yeah, that's what you get when you sleep at 10 p.m. ahaa... just remembered to tell you that i'm going back this weekend to KL.cant wait to go back there. not because of anything, just him. yeah, he's coming back too. gonna fetch him in airport. hopefully his flight doesnt stop that long in Dubai. 

oh, before i forget, Happy Belated Birthday to MILLYMIN, my crazy senior in SGGS. lol.

ok, i have to stop typing. bye!

p/s: Yam, did you realize that your comment link is off? it's killing me softly! you know how much i love to comment after reading blog!!!!! aiyah, fix it!

truth,
tash

Blog

words below will be in Malay, please bare with me. lol.

(sila baca ikut tone Hj. Bakhil)

SETAN-SETAN SEKALIAN, UPDATE LA BLOG WOI! DAH 4 HARI AKU TGK SEKOQ PUN TAK UPDATE BLOG!

P/S: CIK YAM RAJIN LAK UPDATE BLOG 2 HARI NI! 

bored,

tash!

A little hope, perhaps...

time: 01.20 a.m.
venue: home
mood:  IT'S YOUR CHOICE, GOD!
currently: in dilemma.

nothing is sure yet. just trying my luck. i really needed luck in this one. might be my last resort if i can't get into Academy of Arts in San Frans. really. pray hard. if god really exist. i might get this shot. prove to me god is fair. prove to me god is mercy. prove to me god is listening. prove to me that god actually saw me crying inside now. PROVE IT.

Bachelor of Arts (Hons) in Creative Multimedia

i dont hope for much. just a little hope. little one. to see myself as a useful person once again. to get up and smile back to every Georgians that gave me that pity smile. to proudly carry the title once again. to proudly pronounce the title once again. to proudly own the card once again.

STUDENT

might be a small word for someone. not for me. i believe in education. few weeks back, i snapped. i lower my pride to money. i proudly announce that i don't believe in education. i'm even close to not believing my god. i can't even believe myself. yes, i do believe in education. but for me to believe in god once again, he gotta show me that he's there. that he's helping those who needed him. regardless whom they are. frankly, i envy those who are studying. it's a blessing. cherish it.

i can't wait. really. i wanna see the so-called magic. i wanna see either my excellent CGPA will impress them or it's just gonna be another sadistic story. right now. i'm just having a little hope. perhaps... you could make it happen. if this is happening, just assume i owe you a week of devoted person.

i want to be excellent. i want to be challenged intelectually.

THAT'S ALL.

IS IT HARD?

ANSWER ME!

I'LL BE WAITING, TIL END OF DECEMBER.

IF NOT, I ASSUME THAT YOU NEVER REALLY CARE. 

p/s: it took me a while click "publish post". i dont know why. 

hoping, a little,
natasha farhana leow

I found another one!

time: exactly 12 midnight.
venue: home
mood: err... happy?
currently: blog-hopping.

Endy,
today something miracle happens. Tasha, the so-called make up addicted girl didnt wear her make up to her mom's shop. how pathetic! she looks damn ugly. pale. sick. 2 pimples coming out due to her overlapping period. she's in bad mood today. very low sales at the shop compared to yesterday. 

and YES, I'm talking about myself!

not some other bitchy Tasha or whatsoever. i have no time to bitch bout others today. too moody! why? blame god for it. he created PMS and human seems to blame everything on PMS. YES! esp guys. every time a girl is in a bad mood, he says "PMS" and the rest nodded, as if they're so concern bout it! hak tuiiii (spitting). ok, i should really stop typing now. or else, more hatred word will come out! sorry Endy. i'm just too shallow today! 

anyways,
the reason why i type this out is because i found something during my blog-hopping session. wanna know what is it? 

Bila aku terjaga habit aku capai phone kokak aku thu. (2nd paragraph, 1st sentence)

yes, i found yet another sentence using the word kokak! lol. so exciting. yeah, you can call me lame. but the process of learning new stuff is just exciting. it's just so motivating to see others using the same word too! lol.

till then.... bye!

happy,
tash

Climbed automatic gates, wearing knee-length dress...

time:00.25 a.m.
venue: my house
mood: exhilarated!
currently: just learned a new word!

Endy,
today, is my first time ever, climbing my own gate, wearing my dress! what a wonderful thing to do. thanks to forever useless bro! he left the house without telling me. so, me and my mom ended up being lock outside our own house! why? because i dont have the damn remote! ok, this shit just add up my pro-cons list on technology! why dont we just have the typical gate??? 

ok. enough bout that. i'm a little occupied tonight. so, cant really crap a lot. today i've learn new word. kudos to Fazrin! lol. he translated the word for me. ok, it's a malay word, originally from Johor (that's what he claims) called "kokaq". how did i actually came across this word? i read some comment on Faz's blog and someone mention that word. so i asked him and he explains;

kokaq tu bahasa johor aku rasa
sebab masa aku kecik2 dulu slau guna bahasa tu
kokaq tu slalu budak2 sebut
kete kokaq
kokaq= buruk, lama
janji leh pakai je la

ok i know most of my reader dont understand malay. it's ok. just a malay word. i type this out just as reminder to myself. lol. ok i'm busy. ttys. bye!

learning,

tash

I'm just in love with Terminator!

time: 2.44 a.m.
venue: home
mood: excited?
currently: just bathe

Endy,
i went to Queensbay Mall with my friend today. we were suppose to watch movie and i let him choose what movie to watch. he chose Terminator. so, i watch it for the third time. still, i love this movie. i dont get bored of it. just love John Connor. lol. wait. i think i like Marcus more than John! lol. 

my mom's worker got terminated this afternoon. lol. this is for real. not the movie. my mom gave her 24 hours letter. she's just being ignorant and rude. i told my mom to sack her. so, for the time being, i will be helping my mom while she's interviewing for new assistant. unfortunately, i'm leaving by the end of this month. or should i stay? i pity her. taking care of her business alone. but, i have to go back to KL. my life now is in KL, not Penang. i have job to be taken there. i have someone to meet there. someone important in my life. 

Endy,
i have re-structured my plans. yes, that fast? hahah... this is from a person who says that she's not gonna plan her life anymore??? YES! unfortunately, i cant live my life without a 10 years target. what is my long-term shot? what is my short term shot? what kinda obligation i'm willing to have? this shit keep spinning in my head in this few months. i was really close to giving up. i really thought that i'm just gonna ended up being a pathetic 9 to 5 worker. ok, no offense to any of you out there. it's just that, for a person like me, i mean, a diploma graduate from multimedia course, i surely expect more than that. live should be as colorful as i expected. or maybe more. i dont want to be a worker. i want to work for my self. i wanna do field work. i wanna do lots of stuff. 

so, first plan is to finish my neverending blog project. i was planning to open a blog shop. that's for my part time income. you know, just for fun. getting new experience from the other side of the world. i was chatting with Melita earlier. i asked her if she could help me out in the designing phase of the blog. she's very creative and i like to work with her. YES! i like to choose a team base on a person that i like! i cant deal with a person that i dont like. yeah... i know, a handful of people will actually come and make an effort to advice me that life is not only about what you like. sometimes you have to deal with someone that you dont like. bla bla bla bla... huarghhh... zzzzzz (sleeping). for me, i choose to be like this. i wanna work with people i'm comfortable with. i disagree with that point that people have to work with someone they dont like. ok, what am i vagging about? stop stop stop, Tasha! 

so, we decided to meet up once i got back to KL. i already have the capital now. now, the most important thing is choosing items to be put on the blog and the blog design. my mother suggested that i sell shawl. some of my friend suggested that i sell dresses. some say, sell both. the other minority said, "up to you". yea... typical answer! i dont think they even give it a thought before answering "up to you". lol. the thing that worried me the most is the structure of the blog. another important thing is the accessibility of it. this is very important because i dont want any frustrated customer, unable to find stuff that fit their criteria. i'm even thinking about a slideshow. maybe that'll be good too. i'll see about it. 

plan about studies? well, i do gave it a thought. i was chatting with my old friend, Diana. she told me she's gonna apply for MARA loan through Lim Kok Wing. i'm sure it's gonna be a tough luck case. yea... it's really hard to get it. well, since she's gonna apply, let me give it a try. so, by the end of this month, i'm going to apply for Lim Kok Wing and try out the loan thing. if not, just wait until next January to pursue my degree. honestly, i dont have faith in it at all. now, the most important thing is my blog. i want it to be successful. i'm trying very hard to get a decent job too. i hope i can get it. maybe gonna find a job nearby my house, despite the salary of it. 

Endy,
can i continue next time about this? i start to feel sleepy. it's already 3 in the morning. i'm really tired. i have to wake up by 11. gotta go to the shop by 12. i'll see you next time k. bye!

planner,
tash