Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
time: 6:38 a.m.
currently: chatting with the guy! lol..
i have something to tell you... i dont know either i should tell you or not. anyway, how are you doing? this entry gonna take a bit of time to finish, since i'm chatting with him. i've been crazy to tell you this for a long long time. i gave it a thought and i decided to inform you. ok the story goes like....
i went to MPH with Maryam and some other girls. we were looking for great great books to buy. we sat there for hours. arguing over books and the place was crowded. it's kinda stuffy inside there. so we quickly buy our book and get our ass out of there. when i reach home, i check out all of the book. my novel, my magazine and my law book. yeah... i've got an offer to study law in one of the local U. that's the big news. then, next day, i packed my stuff and off to my new hostel. once i reach there, unpacked my stuff and all, i just sleep on my bed.
next morning, i woke up, coz there's such noise from outside. my hostel is like a L shape building. i'm in 5th floor. the warden came to our room, my roommate ask me to get up. apparently, the warden look kinda fierce. ok, i have 3 roommates, who currently look so scared. i tried to make conversation with the warden, if i'm not mistaken, name Lily. then, i went out to the corridor, i saw lots of people outside. along the corridor, downstairs on the court which is right in front of my hostel, and the building in front of us.
funny, the hostel is a boy-girl hostel. funny, why? because hello, this is malaysia and it's local U! on the other building, the exact 5th floor, right facing my door, the stand on of my old old friend that i know from PLKN. ok that's strange. i tried to yell his name but my voice just wont come out. then.... there's a big force that pull me, like a strong wind, moving extremely fast, as if i'm traveling over time.
I WAKE UP!
yeah... what a bull shit dream i have. this is what you get when you slept one whole day. yes, when i say one whole day means one whole day! i woke up and i can feel my heart beat is really fast. my adrenalin is like gonna pour out any time. ok, that's not a good example, is it? lol... whatever it is, this dream is weird. yes, i got an offer letter 3 years ago. but i ignored because i dont want to be a lawyer, i wanna be a designer. if this dream have something to do with what we call a sign, then lets see if i dream it again in this short period.
what about you guys? what do you think? any thoughts on this? i'm definitely googling this dream. hahahhaha...
Sunday, May 24, 2009
time: 7:07 a.m.
venue: back in 90s.
currently: just finished blog-hopping.
does this title ring a bell for you? yeah... i was kinda thrilled when i saw an entry bout this Lagenda Budak Setan (LBS), written by a famous malay writer, Ahadiat Akashah(AA) in one of my favourite blog. ok, i was just flipping through pages of blog that i've always visit, and i reached Leeds page and she is talking about LBS gonna go over the silver screen. YES. the best novel he had ever write is finally going on film!
OMG OMG... i'm so excited that it's finally gonna be a film. although i think that it will never be the same as reading the novel itself. come on, LBS is as thick as the Oxford dictionary, you think they will be able to fit in every beautiful detail in about 2 hours movie? nahh... but still... i think it's gonna be great and i'm seriously gonna watch it. i grew up during this time and i'm sure i'll enjoy the movie.
i dont really read malay novel as much as english novel, but i adores this one. believe it or not, i'm a personal collector of AA's novel. i love them a lot. i almost forget bout this LBS until i flip through the news! how i adore all the character and how i love and hate the ending! yeah... i'm divided when it comes to the ending. i'd prefer him to be with Ayu. ok ok... i shouldnt be talking bout the story. most of you guys wont understand what the hell am i talking about since i know no one read this book but me. and sorry, it's in malay, so for those who dont understand malay, dont ask me to translate the story.
ok peeps... i gotta go... i suddenly remember my whole rack of novels that i left few years ago when i graduated from high school. gotta find all the novels he wrote. i'll write more, soon.
P/s: i still adore Jane Austen, nevertheless! oh ya... for those who can read malay, do click on AA's website to see thousands of praise for LBS!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
time: 8:23 a.m.
mood: EXTREMELY bored.
currently: Feeling like i wanna talk to you.
yes, 21 is really a lonely year for me. feels like i'm out of my track. used to have lots of friend. used to have lots of party to attend to. used to have lots of girlfriend night out. WHATEVER happen to all that?? YES.. this is all my choice. to change my path of life. to stop making late night friends. to avoid all of my college-mates. to stop contacting every single georgian. to stop calling everyone that used to know me. i even deleted my phone list. yes, the whole 327 people, except mom, dad, maryam, my beloved and tiqah. yeah... this top 5 people in my life.
WHY? because i dont want to face their question when we meet up. their regular question is "how's studies?", "how's degree?", "you must be fantastic in class!", "what you gonna do after degree? master?" and all sort of college stuff. man, i'm telling you, i dont have answer to any of those. WHY? because i'm not even in college. i cant face them and tell them i didnt accept the offer for degree. i mean, i'm a bright girl in college. i even argue over lecturer's capabilities of teaching and i doubt that they're smart enough to have that power of teaching. everybody will wonder why did i drop out of college. why? why? why?
i dont want anybody to feel sorry for me. so, to all my friend, i'm sorry that i deleted you guys on my list. i just needed some space. i need new environment. i'm really thinking of moving somewhere. start a new life where nobody knows me. it's really exciting because i could meet new people and have new perspective bout life and forget bout my degree. god damn it. it really hurts to be left out. to be frank, i dont believe in the power of education no more. i really dont. ok, lets re=programme my brain. MONEY IS EVERYTHING. and yes, i mean it. money brought my family down. money force me to break up with someone. money is the reason why i'm a dumb ass now. get it? so the key point here is... i dont need education. all i need is money.
ok enough bout that pathetic thoughts. what happen to me since i last write? well, nothing much. i celebrate my birthday with friends. just a simple lunch with lots of gossip. i wear a nice blue pattern dress. my parents bought me a chocolate cake, which they dont know, i dont really like chocolate. they're too busy with work than to understand their daughter, maybe. lots of email, messages, phone call, YM, and MSN wishes. which i dont really pay attention to. sorry people. just being gloomy. i'm fine now.
next day, i went to Gurney with Amir, have lunch before i drop him at the ferry station. i was blurrr what's for lunch. we walk in and out, finally got ourselves stuck at Chilis which is right at the entrance. then i went to my mom's shop. have to settle up some work. waited till 9, then i left. my mom asked me to go to "pasar malam" (sort of a market at night, sells food, mostly) to find her a nice soya bean drinks. walk through the whole place, still cant get one, so, got fed up and went back home and apologize to my mom.
i was sick yesterday and i slept the whole day. mom vag at me for being lazy the whole day, without noticing that i'm actually sick. dont want to tell her anyway. i'm on my own now. i'm a big girl, remember? i can even change my religion if i want to. 21 is a big number. this is the year i've been waiting for, actually. i've already dream bout it. at the age of 21, i should now be in my 5th semester of degree. 2nd year of degree. ohh shit... i'm back to the same topic. Endy please shut down my brain!
ok i gotta feel good bout myself now. i gotta do something. get a decent cloth. put up some make up. go out for a walk or something. ok... i'll talk to you soon. take care Endy.
P/s: to my dearest, i'm waiting for your call!
miss my life,
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday, May 03, 2009
venue: Home filled with love.
mood: Sad, sad, sad.
currently: Finished packing.
i've settle everything. kinda clean the room, the kitchen, the rubbish bin, to make sure there's no weird thing accumulating when i came back 2 months from now. all of the task are done. half of my stuff is already in the car. last thing to pack is my make up, teddy bear, heels and of course, my laptop. i cant live without my laptop. i'd die.
i feel really really sad to leave this house. even it's just 2 months. this is the house where i learn how to love. this is the house where i learn to fit in. this is the house which witness every sadness and happiness occurred in my life. he really did it. he makes me feel safe in this house. so warm and comfortable, even when it's just a small condo.
ok, i'm shutting down my laptop. gotta hit the road. my bro is waiting in Ipoh. gotta fetch that bitch. lol...
p/s: b, i hope u come back to this house and see you once again, at your desk. love you.