A Dare for Maryam!

time: 10.09 a.m.
venue: home.
mood: happy.
currently: STILL listening to Inside of You!

Endy,
it's been a few months and i know i've gain a lot this few months. thanks to Penang, thanks to work, thanks to too much of yamcha session! i think i gain like 6 kilogram. this sucks! i can't fit into my jeans, my mini skirt is tight, my dress can't be fit, my tank top seems so tight and i get tired really fast!

well, i'm quite happy with myself now. i think i started losing weight again. this started since the 41 hours blog post. anyway, i've forgotten to post the exact duration. i was starving for 47 hours. that's almost 2 days. well, to see the bad part of it.... hurm well... i dont wanna talk bout it... the good part is, i started eating less... it's good for me. and for the past few days, i 've been sleeping as early as 12 a.m. and wake up around 7-9 a.m. i like it. for about 1 month, my life is upside down and i've been sleeping late.. real late.. which is not good at all... now i can see the dark circle is gone, which means, no more panda eyes. for the first time yesterday, i use very minimum concealer on my eyes!

speaking of concealer... god bless the person who invented concealer! do you know how many ladies out there is saved by you? lol... i'm an ugly person, and i need concealer! thank god that i have nice skin, even though it doesnt reach the level of being FLAWLESS! well, have to work hard on that! it's like 1 over 1000 ratio of woman have flawless skin, and it's impossible to have it just by nature, at least not at this era. thousands of years back, mabe even before B.C. it's possible coz there's no pollution at all. and there's no McD, no KFC, no oily oily stuff... you know what i mean... so, in order to get their flawless skin, the least you could do is change your eating habit. stop oily stuff, start going green. ohhhh yesss... it's easier to spell it out rather than doing it. for me, no thanks... i'd rather be fat and ugly than stopping myself from eating those food.

arghh... life is getting dull here... i hate KL... so boring... nothing to do! and no real friends... all fake.. i'm actually waiting for Maryam to come back to Sunway so that we can go shopping together! it's been a while since i last went shopping with her! you know, going shopping with girls is different than going with guys. i went shopping the other day with Medo. i know he's kinda not in the mood to go shopping on that day. i was actually hunting for pretty pumps. i found 1 pumps the other day when i was out with Maryam in Midvalley. i liked it a lot. so, i found it in Pyramid, tried it on, and the best thing of all, "SORRY MISS, NO SIZE!". WTF! i thought i will never have problem with size. for heaven's sake i'm size 6. it's so common in Malaysia! and the worst of all, that freaking pumps is NEW ARRIVAL! omg! so shitty! now i understand Maryam's feeling when she couldn't get her size. for her it's another long story. she's size 9, rare case, at least for me! lol... i'm always the victim of Maryam's shoes hunting! lol...

Yam, faster come back here! i wanna buy some more heels and make up! i'm in an urge to go shopping, WITH A GIRL! i've been going shopping with guys lately. even 3 days ago, i went out to Pyramid with Medo, bump into Nick and Stanley at Starbucks as i was enjoying my blueberry cheese cake! lol... for the first time, i didn't order my fav caramel macchiato. instead, i ordered Java Chip. it was just ok-ok. anyways, back to us. i was buying my make up and nick wants to buy some sort of mask for his face. so, we went to Guardian to look for St. Ives. did they stop importing St. Ives? omg, stupid Malaysia! now i have to buy it outside? shitt... at first, i thought they were just out of stock, so i went to Watson, go through all the skincare racks, just to find out that it is not imported anymore. Why? is the sales so bad or something?

i have this habit of shopping that i know some people will find it awkward. i just hates it when a sales promoter come to me, trying to explain the product to me. as far as i'm concerned, on every product there's something called LABEL! do i look like i'm blind? do i look like i dont know how to spell? for me, a sales promoter is needed when you need further info. and for me, they should only come when you call them, to seek further assistance. i dont know... what do you think? am i weird? it's just that, i don't feel comfortable someone is standing next to you, while you were browsing through their stuff.

the worst part came when they actually try to explain to me how to use a foundation. i was like, WTF??? hello, can't you see that i'm actually wearing a foundation? next, she will tell me why mousse foundation is better than two-way cake. this is the time when i shoooo her away, after repeatedly telling her that i need my own time checking the stuff. such hassles you have to go through! then, just when you needed them, for the real FURTHER ASSISTANCE, they couldn't asnwer you! so funny! you know, sometimes i dont blame them. it's the employer itself. i mean, if you were to hire a sales person, you should make sure they went through some sort of training to educate them on the product, isn't it? that'll make the shopping environment in malaysia much much better! you bet! it's consumer rights to know everything on the product! maybe because this is not really our habit to seek further info on the item, makes them even more and more careless on their service.

i'm a big fan of Estee Lauder and i bought mostly their lip color, foundation, eye pallete and two-way cake. yes, the thing that i'm most addicted to, is their two-way cake! perfect! not that i'm promoting them or whatsoever. but, there's certain Estee counter that i wont go! this is because the promoter makes me totally OFF the mood to buy anything. first, they will give me the look as if i'm gonna steal something from their booth. next, they will stand beside me, trying so hard to educate me on their product. that's so lame! then, when i told them that i wanna buy refill for my two-way cake, they will say that i have to buy the casing, if not, it'll be hard to store the refill. i, then ask them,"do i look like an idiot?". Just when i'm about to leave the counter, a couple of British came, and you know what, they're so friendly with them. I was like, okaayyyy... i got the point.. you think Malaysians cant afford your stuff... omg! i feel like yelling to their face! i believe my monthly allowance from my mom is way higher than your salary, bitch! ok, that's not the point. the point here is... WHAT HAPPEN TO EXCELLENT CUSTOMER SERVICE MOTTO? vanished?

another bad service is Coach, in KLCC. well, basically, same shit as some of Estee's counter. i dont have to spell it out, dont i? you can experience it for your own! they're so cocky! hello bitch, how much is your salary? and whoever that comes in IS your customer! i still remember how they ignored my mom. i'm so mad! i still remember how my mom screw their life! she was saying. "Aku tak heranla kalau angpa semua ni kurang ajaq. mesti mak bapak angpa tak ajaq betui2. kalau tak suka keja serve customer, awat dulu tak blajaq tinggi2. pastu menyusahkan orang!" and i was really laughing because she said it quite loudly and we left.

Translation: I won't be surprise of your improper manner. this is due to lack of taughts by your parents. if you dont like serving customer, why dont you study hard back then? now you're just pain in the ass!

however, i want to give excellent credit to Salvatore Ferragamo, KLCC! excellent service. i went in with my mom. one girl greet us politely, asking us if she's needed. i told her to give us some time. i called her again, asking few questions on the bag we wanna buy. we bought it, and of course leave as a HAPPY customer. a month after that, we came back to the same boutique because there's some problem with the bag. i approach to one of the sales assistance and she refer to her manager. unfortunately, my mom had forgotten where she leave her receipt. so, it takes them some time to track back the purchase. after that, she explains to me that they can fix the bag, but it'll take some time. The manager quickly tell her to give us a new one. yes, again, we left there SATISFIED! Bravo Ferragamo. great service. i will surely come again.

ok, i'm going to Pavilion in an hour. i need to get ready. oh ya... i almost forgot... the REAL reason why i post this blog. as everyone knows, i'm currently playing Nancy Drew. i knew that Maryam is crazy bout games too. she loves RPG, but an Adventure game once in a while wont kill, right? so this is my challenge to you, to play this game, WITHOUT the walkthrough! trust me, it almost turn me crazy looking for the clue! lol... anyway Yam, i already mailed you the zip file of

Nancy Drew - Curse Of The Blackmoor Manor

and in case if you're stuck

GameBoomer Walkthrough

Nancy Drew Mania Walkthrough

p/s: if anyone else who want this game, just leave me your email in my comment. i will send it to you.

sorry for nagging,
Tasha

Cutest Blog Award!

time: 4.39 p.m.

venue: Old Town Sunway Mentari
mood: bored.
currently: chilling with Medo.

Endy,
I've receive a tag from my friend, Zuha. i got it like few days ago but i kinda forget bout it. sorry dear. i was too busy solving mystery case a.k.a. Nancy Drew games. ok, i know most of you will laugh at me, saying i'm so childish playing Nancy Drew games, but hey, give it a try. the puzzles is not easy though, especially in Senior Detective mode. i've completed 7 series of the game, and still counting. never get bored of them, although some of the game is creepy. well, at least for me. lol... for now, i'm playing The Curse of Blackmoor Manor. i hate this version coz it's so tricky. ok, enough of Nancy Drew and let me continue on my tag.

peraturan untuk meneriam award ini ialah:
1. copy badge "2008 cudte's 3logger award" di atas untuk diletakkan di blog anda.
2. link/ceritakan kembali siapa yang memberikan award ini kepada anda.
3. setiap blogger mesti menyatakan 10 fakta/hobi diri sendiri sebelum memilih penerima award seterusnya (anda di-tag).
4. anda perlu memmilih 10 penerima award seterusnya dan menyatakan nama mereka di blog anda.
5. jangan lupa melawat blog kawan anda dan meninggalkan komen yang menyatakan mereka telah di tag.

Translation:
Rules to accept this award:
1. Copy this badge and post it in your blog.
2. Link the person who tagged you and talk a lil bit on them.
3. Every blogger have to state 10 facts/hobby before choosing the next 10 person to be tag.
4. You have to choose 10 person to receive this award and state their name in your post.
5. Don't forget to visit their blog and inform them that they've been tagged.

ok, sorry for the bad translation, i'm not that good in translating languages. lol... my bad! ok, lets move on.

1. Done.
2. Done. Up there. in my first paragraph. oh ya, i havent tell you bout her.

Who's Zuha? Zuha is an old friend of mine, met in an established IRC chatroom back then. i think it was 5-6 years back. she's a nice person, reliable, understanding, happy-go-lucky and the best o all, straight-forward kinda person. This is a lady whom you might consider as a great companion for lifetime as she listens attentively and gave good advice in a properly manner. i respect her a sister and i hope we'll always be friend.

3. 10 fact/hobby.

• Addicted to coffee, good coffee to be precise.
• Highly confident in herself, always believe in her vision, and the vision can be ridiculous sometimes.
• I'd die to be pretty. Well, that explains tons of makeup i bought. the art of colours!
• Believe in Liberalization.
• Hates poseur who thinks they're good at something just because they've got money.
• Addicted to gadget.
  
• Collects bling-bling watch, esp, swarovski crystal.
• Always wanted to join liberal art course. (yeah i know it's boring)
• Loves Tiqah, Maryam and Medo a lot.
• Dream of studying commercial photography in New York. that'll have to wait.
  

4. The 10 lucky person.

• Maryam (my besties)
  
• Phing
  
• Farah (besties living in Penang)
  
• Melita (classmate, Diploma in Computer Studies)
  
• Yel
• U-jean
• Swee Win (this girl is one of the piercing freak in school. lol... she's funny! miss u!)
  
• Shooke
• Eta & Edy
• Che Det??? (lol.. it's kinda impossible isnt it)

ok.. for Farah and Melita, i kinda lazy to get their blog address in Friendster. lol...

5. visit their blog? lol... err... ok i'll do that the next time. lol...

Truth,
tash

Messages I got in my myspace inbox

time: 3.51 p.m.
venue: home.
mood: annoyed.
currently: blocking people in myspace.

Endy,
today, i wanna share my experience using myspace with other people. i dont know why, i just have the urge to share it today. i could not be bothered bout this thing for years. i've been a loyal member of myspace for 6 constant years. yes, 6 years is long.

i registered my myspace because Azizi, my late friend, asked me bout it. so, i said, why not. let's check it out. well, i was not active til the year of 2006, when i started my college. from there, i've learn a lot. i've met more than 1000 people. yes, i did, indeed. of course, i dont just jump into conclusion and thought that everyone meant well. before i met anyone, i'll scrutinize into his/her profile. get to know them. then only i'll decide either to meet, or just be friends in cyber.

no doubt that i've enjoyed meeting people from all races, ages, and religions. they had taught me so much in life. in fact, most of my friend that i know now is through Yahoo Messenger group or Myspace. i've met great friends there. i've met great bro and sis there. and yes, i love hanging out with them. i have thousands in my YM list and i'm sorry i ignored some while i'm online. because i just cant handle too much. i have life too. you know what i mean. lol...

however, there's certain thing that i dont like about online friends. i mean, not all of them, but most of them. despite being in the millenium century, this people still choose to be close-minded. or should i say, judging people just by their dress or their attitude. is it just me or is it everybody that like to misinterpret my style? i dont know. ok, i know you guys must be cloudy of what i'm trying to explain here. ok, let me elaborate a little bit on this.

well, everybody knows that i love mini skirt and tank top. yes, i'm fat, you dont have to remind me of that. yet, i still believe that there's no boundary for anyone to wear whatever they like. the problem is... people always take me as a bitch when they see me wearing mini skirt. hello.... just because i'm malay, doesnt mean i cant wear it! ok, back to myspace issue. ok, just because i posted a picture of me wearing skirts, doesnt make me a bitch on myspace. and it also doesnt make me a low class person who begs money from people. and it doesnt sign that i'm horny and i need to be fuck. ok? get it? if you dont get it, you're welcome to get lost from my sight, moron!

everyday, i've got like 30++ message from random myspacer and i just dont bother to open any of them sometimes because i already knew the content. yes, not all are cheap. but they can be categorize in either lame or bitchy message. only a few is descent. and yes, i appreciate great friends on myspace. thanks for making my day! ok to make this even more visible, i'm gonna check my inbox now, and i'm gonna take the first 20 messages in my inbox and sort them out in the 2 category, which is the bitchy one and the lame one.

ok, here's a few message of moron people who thinks that i'm cheap (Type A: BITCHY):

hye tash..
*&^%$# besar laa...
hope i can *&^%$# u hard..
if u don't mind i wanna *&^%$#@,,,
thanxx (Go fuck ur mom first!)

rm200 for sleep wif me,just 1 hour.....reply if u want it
0129157949 my no (i'll double the price for you to sleep with your mom!)

and this is the lame message i receive (Type B: LAME):

how re u..? (i'm fine thank you. bla bla bla... then what? think of other intro, man!)

hiiiiiiiiiii (what do you expect me to answer?? HIIIIIIIIIIIIII??)

alam..........cm org tk bermaya jea??(budak klantan) (WTF is this guy typing? it's obviously stated in my profile that i'm a PENANGITES!)

HAI..NAK NO PHONE BLH TAK? (yeah sure, after you do a brain transplant with Einstein!)

How r u (ohhh pleaseeee... another one?)

x tdo lg (and what does it have to do with you?)

bt pe ni x tdo lg ker??? (huhhh???? another one?)
lame dah ke online?hehe
sehat?
Happy CNY..hehe
dah mkn kuih raye ke?ekeeke... (ok thanks for wishing, but get a better question to ask!)

u xon ym ke? (even if i'm online, i rather choke to death before chatting with you!)

morning..u ader ym x?leh add? :) (TAK BOLEH! like duhhh... stoooopid question)

hai...............
uat ape tu....???? (why do you carE?)

hye.....
x tyto lagi.... (i'm speechless... this is like the 3rd same questionon??)

hai..apa kabar awk kat sana..??
skrg ni tgh buat apa tu?? (see what i mean... i believe you're getting fed up of the same question too!)

i'm christ,from russia,now i stay in kajang in malaysia
would u like we make dating?
which city u live? (first, fix your english. 2nd, i'll never date a dumb guy, IDIOT!)

hii tasha morning.....how are you today...have YM add me yea..mazlan_muaz@yahoo.com..thanks..see yea (and what makes u think i'm gonna add you?)

ngh wat per 2???????npe xtdo lg (i'm about to puke!)

ok Endy... i know you're getting annoyed by this people. this is what i've got for today in my inbox. it's really discouraging for me to check my inbox in myspace. that's why i rather go to Myyearbook, where people are less bitchy and more vocabulary. ok, most of the person who message me is malay. and the stupid guy who offer me the stupid 200 bucks is chinese.

so, now don't question why i dont date malaysian guys. they're either too stupid to jump into conclusion and think that i'm cheap or they're just lame in introduction. come on... you tell me which chick will fall for you if you just tell them hi or how are you... it's just so typical. get some other idea. i've receive lots of intro from outsiders which is quite interesting to answer.

i mean, i dont know for others, but i'm that kinda girl who doesnt fall for a single hi or how are you. that's just so lame... for me, you ask how are you when you've met an old friend. or you met your lecturer after a long semester break. you know, that sorta stuff! in fact, how are you is one of the 1st english words taught in school. try to outstand a lil bit. some research on the girl before saying hi doesnt bite, do they? read up their profile before hitting the message button.

oh ya... another issue... i've strictly stated in my profile that:

Frankly speaking, i dont entertainpervert, lame and idiotic guys... soplease don't ask me any stupid question such as:

"boleh kenal?"
"buat apa tu?"
"dah lama online?"
"u ni mixed yer?"
"u boleh ckp cina?"
"busy ke?"
"dah mkn ke belum?"

or anyhing else that brought the same meaning! Please read my profile before asking me the question that obviously had been answered here! Thanks..

and there's some guy who actually confronted me with this words. they say that i'm too arrogant, too nasty, and too stuck up. yes, whatever you wanna say, because you're not the one who's facing the same question again and again and again. if you dont like me, just get lost. myspace have more than 6 millions user. pick your choice. it's my profile, so you play by my rules. as simple as that.

i've also received tons of messages scolding me for dating an outsider. they want me to date malays. lol... no offense but... my whole entire life... 21 years of living on the earth... i've only met 1 malay guy who's so super talented... so polite... so classy... strong characteristic... so smart... and he's catching up with my point of view... i've never seen such a perfect combination in a guy... this is like a rare case... so talented in everything... girls just adore him. even when i walk with him, i could see girls whispering! Maryam, Tiqah, you girls should know whom i meant! and i'm sure you girls do agree on what i've describe him! so... people... dont blame me for not dating malay guy! i've lots of malay friend and they're super nice... but in the sense of relationship, they just dont sparkle.

i dont know how to explain this. it just doesnt suit my characteristic. i'm that kinda girl who believes in liberalization. yes, Islam says that guy should be the leader. not that i want to be against this, but i believe in a freedom of both sex. there's this one mindset on guys that girls should do all the kitchen stuff... and girls should cook, do all the cleaning and be with them while eating. well, guys, you do realize that sometimes we do need a break? i thank god that i've got someone who really care bout me. he pampers me sometimes and he doesnt expect me to do all the stuff on my own. another thing is... i don't like it when a guy tell me not to do this.. not to do that... dont go back late.. dont go there... call me before you go anywhere... and yes... i've seen lots of example of this! lots of my friend is having this situation.. and i thank god that i dont have to go through all this shit!

Endy,
i think i've talk to much... time to chill with ma~ peeps! i havent put on any makeup... i need to rush... bye!

annoyed,
tasha

Truth

time: 4.18 a.m.
venue: still in hell.
mood: sad, depressed, frustrated.
currently: crying my heart out.

Endy,
the truth had been spoken. everything is transparent now. and i'm blaming my evil mouth. i shouldn't speak the truth. the truth makes it worst. i should just shut up and remain dim. i feel so insulted right now. i have never lost my pride to this extend. so humiliated. should i go on with this, or do i just vanish??

i need you Endy,
Tasha

41 hours!

time:2:40 a.m.
venue: hell.
mood: still the same.
currently: so so so hungry.

Endy,
it's been 41 hours since i last eat. i'm so so starving. well... i think it's better this way rather than thinking bout my problem. they tortured me mentally, i tortured myself physically. And physical pain is not that bad, compared to mental pain! my gastric is getting worst by now. i don't know what to do. i just sit down quietly until it goes. it'll be okay for a while, then here it comes again. lol... it's kinda fun sometimes to forget on your problem because you're too busy thinking bout your empty stomach! it gave you such a relieves!

I'll update more later!

food food food,
tasha

Not so happy chinese new year!

time:2:51 p.m.
venue: hell.
mood: extremely sad.
currently: HUNGRY!

Endy,
i'm so sad right now... you know, i feel so useless... people always want this and that from me... but they never really ask, do i really want it? it's strange how people react sometimes. when i cry, they'll automatically ask me, what is it? what's up? and when i kept quiet, i'm actually guilty. wtf is that attitude? just leave me alone. i don't need anybody in my life anymore. i'm already sure that i can make it. i'm sure i can survive alone.

i didn't go back this Chinese New Year. don't ask me why, i don't know. i just don't feel like being at home right now. i believe my dad is so hurt right now. i don't know why i don't feel sorry for not going back. i just can't take it anymore. my mom repeating the same old story again and again, putting the blame on me and damn i feel real bad! i need a real escapade!

i've been looking for job today, and yes, i don't know why. i think i can stop all this misery just by working. i can end all this crap! once i could manage to take care of myself, no one can look down on me. no one will have the power to bully me anymore. just because you're feeding me doesn't make me your slave!

i'm hungry right now. really really hungry. it's been 29 hours since i last ate. and i only ate piece of bread last 29 hours. why i'm doing this? because i refused to feed myself with anyone's money. how long i can take it? it depends on my ego. i don't care even if i die. i really don't! right now, i'm having gastric. a real bad one. i just ignore. i don't give a damn. why should i care? maybe you guys will be happier if i die!

Endy, they tortured me mentally. i'm gonna be insane soon!

i'm really hungry,
Tash

Who's Endy?

time: 9.02 p.m.
venue: home.
mood: happy!
currently: again.... listening to Inside of You!

Endy,
this entry is specially dedicated to those who wants to know who is my dearest Endy! yes Endy, lots of people been popping me the question, WHO'S Endy? i believe i've talk bout him in one of my old old olddddd entry... i cant even remember which entry because i have 251 total entry in my Yahoo 360 page and i dont know how much i have for this blog.

so, who's Endy? Endy Richter is a little boy who i knew since i was 6. we're besties and he's really really genius and matured. he taught me lotsa stuff... he passed away on December 1998 after suffering from lung cancer for about a year.

so, why Endy? why not ZZ, another besties? why not Maryam? why not Tiqah? I named this blgo Endy because he's a great listener. whatever it's about, he always listen, attentively. i've been writing diary since i was a kid and i started my first blog in the year of 2003. in every blog, i dedicate it to Endy, because i believe he's reading it somewhere up there. i trusted him with every single detail of my life, and he never failed me.

i love him to the extend that i will never erase his name from this blog. as long as i'm breathing in this world, he will be here. and i could feel it. whenever i type every single word, i could feel the relieve, the relieve as if someone does listen. whatever the entry is about, happiness, sadness, dullness or sarcasm, he listen. it's just that he couldn't answer me.

Endy, i'm happy that i know you. i'm lucky to have lots of caring friend, especially you. you make me believe in myself. you make me dare to colour my duck with red crayon instead of yellow. you always tell me, to do as i wish. if i want the duck to be red, then red it is. don't just color it yellow because others said so! and when my colouring is not posted on the notice board, i became sad, and you came to me and said, "dont worry, not everybody is as daring as you. what do they know bout art?" and yes, as fast as a blink of an eye, i smile.

Endy,

thank you my dear friend. i owe you that much that i can't afford to repay. such happiness, when everyone think that i'm a weird kid, who draws weird art, you bravely tell them that it's an abstract art. and you made me realize that i love abstract art, til today!

guys,

i think it's enough about him. i dont think i'm that strong to elaborate more. what i'm trying to say here is, Endy is so important to me. he's my friend, now, and forever.

p/s: Endy, thanks for the Picasso art set you gave me! it's still in good condition!

your little friend,

nat

(as what he always call me)

Starbucks Rumor Response

time: 4.28 in the morn
venue: home.
mood: ok ok
currently: again, listening to inside of you.

Endy,
for some reason, that song is so soothing and inspiring. anyways... this is just a quick post to correct my mistake. all this while i understand that Starbucks is supporting the Israel. i just felt responsible to spread this word. it's announce that Starbucks doesn't have anything to do with Israeli Armed Force support. so sorry for the misunderstood posting, people. so, to coffee lover out there, you dont have to stop sipping your fav frap! you guys can check out this further info of Starbucks:

Press Releases
Starbucks in Middle East
Corporate Social Responsibility

anybody have any other reliable info? please do drop me a mail!
WE HAVE RESPONSIBILITY TO EDUCATE OUR PEOPLE WITH THE RIGHT SOURCE!

p/s: i'm so going to order Caramel Frap tomorrow! say bye bye to Winter Warmer tea for a while!

my apologize,
Tash

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

time: 9.19 a.m.
venue: home.
mood: bored.
currently: listening to Inside of You.

Endy,
i just finish watching Forgetting Sarah Marhall and i love that movie. at first i thought that it was not that funny, even though there's a few scene which makes me LMAO! lol... after the movie, i did some research on the net. well, i know Russell Brand is kinda well-known, but i dont know he have this song!

i'm still doing research on that song, but as far as i'm concerned, it's all about sex. but hell yeah, it's beautiful! so why dont you guys spend few minutes of your time and listen to Inside of You. and this is the lyrics that i found in SongLyric.

Oh these ancient skies
I've had these wandering eyes
but you took me by surprise
when you let me inside of you

Inside of you
Inside of you
There's got to be
Some part of me
Inside of you

Inside of you, I could cross this desert plane
Inside of you, I can hear you scream my name
Inside of you, while the stars unfold
I've crossed me heart and I've crossed the world
And I need you here and I need to be
Inside of you

Now the flowers bloom
I feel you creep into my room
And if this should be our tune
I'll die here inside of you

And the world explodes
I've never been down this road
Teach me how to glow
While I'm moving
Inside of you

Inside of you, the restless find their dreams
Inside of you, this king has found his queen
Inside of you, all the stars unfold
I've crossed me heart and I've crossed the world
And I need you here and I need to be
Inside of you

Inside of you
Bay blue
So say it's you
To thoughts untrue
Who I woo
It's you I woo

Through and through
And through and through
There's so much more than just a screw
Inside of you

And I was blizzard blind
Felt like I've lost me mind
But you've treated me so kind
I don't know what to do.

as for the movie, i do believe that you guys have to check out the forum for this movie in order to get the jokes! yes the movie is funny, but after reading the forum, i realize that i miss out lots of synical jokes. well, maybe my understanding in their British accent is not that good yet. personally, my fav jokes of the movie is when Chuck / Koonoo (played by Paul Rudd) making fun of the redhead! lol...

oh... before i go... Rachael (played by Mila Kunis) is so gorgeous! and i love her lip color!

next movie please,
Tash

Looking way back into my college year!

time: 5:36 p.m.
venue: home.

mood: happy.
currently: checking out old pics and listening to the great Tony Bennett!

Endy,
I just woke up from my afternoon nap and i was bored. So, I click on my old myspace picture. yes, i do have a Myspace account. lol... when i scrutinize all of the picture, makes me miss 2006. i miss all of my friend, classmates, partner-in-crime, and the gang that we called "kampung gang". lol... you guys were just the greatest in making my 2006 the most memorable one. frankly, i miss that moment.

in this 3 years, i admit, i do change a lot. i'm a lot mature than i used to be. i'm more careful in making decisions. i fixed most of my problems without getting into big trouble like i used to be. i learn a lot from my environment. i saw how idiot and pathetic someone can be. i saw how hard someone work to achieve their life. in short, i experienced sadness and happiness. most important thing of all, i'm glad i did. at least, life was not just a silver platter for me.

and...

as i travel here, surprisingly, i can see and understand my family better. i've learn to love them more when i was away from home. from here, my two little bro, Nasriq and Nazrul were more invisible. we talk more now. well, maybe because we're all grown up. from here too, i saw how my parents struggle to give the best for us, especially me, their only daughter. mom, dad, today i wont be ashamed to come home, because i'm coming home with victory. i've won something. university had taught me a lot. it taught me to give in. it taught me more than just a lecture class. once i step out of class, there's always more and more to learn.

I still remember the first day i step into Sunway, together with my very best friend, Maryam. We've been planning this for a year. We've promise to go to college together, and none of us break those promises. If you notice, i talk a lot bout her in my blog but this is my first time uploading her picture here. well, presenting Miss Ary. Anyone interested? lol... nahh... she's attached to this Thai guy named Danny.

ok back to our story. Ary was my roommate in Monash Condo and hell yeah, we had lots of fun! i still remember how crazy we turn our housemate. Both having amplifier and listening to jrock and techno. lol... sorry miss housemate, housemates that i dont even know their name until today! lol... that's how stiff we are in Sunway! I still remember, during my first semester, when i met everybody in our very first class, Digital Imaging and Photography I. We were introducing ourselves and then there's this chinese guy rushing in. he sat next to me and we greet each other. that was my first friend in class. That's how we tag along so well, not only both of us, but also Azuan, who's not studying hospitality in INTI Nilai.

from left: Azuan, me, Aaron.

Guys, god knows how boring it is not to have both of you in 3rd sem! I miss our first sem and i still remember how crazy we are towards Russian Poker! omg! we'll skip class just to hang out in Orange and play poker! lol... and do you guys still remember this???

That was a picture taken in when we're doing our very first assesment from Ms. Puvana. she gave us ONLY one day to finish up the whole presentation. we stay up and took this picture. it was Aaron's brilliant idea to put it up in our last slides. yeah, the whole class did laugh coz they think it's hilarious! lol... doing assignment with you guys were the best! more of chilling than doing. just when i realize, i'm already done with my work! time passes too fast hanging out with both of you!

oh ya, remember this pic?

Another "assignment" in the making! lol.. shit, i miss those crazy days! we really hates SCT during that period. crazy timetable (which we skip most of the time) and crazy lecturer! lol... i really cant forget what we did to FC when we skip her class. we really fucked her class up! and ended up getting an A for her because she adores Raymond! lol... poor Ray! he's the victim! i still remember that i used to call everyone and tell them to skip her class, next after Sara's class. i can imagine how disappointed she is when all 10 of us didnt turn up for class! sorry FC! we were just being kiddy! lol...

oh ya... i dont think you guys knew bout this... and i know you guys are gonna kick me for this.. ok, dont blame me.. i was just being kind and Miss Sophia suggested me to do it. besides, i saw few of our senior is helping, so i say " ok, why not. everybody is contributing".

and yes, stop laughing at me wearing my traditional baju kebaya. they said to be traditional on 2nd day. lucky Usaid, doesnt have to do so! on that day, i really cant stop laughing at Usaid pronouncing malay names! well, we work out a few line and switch a few script so that he could escape those names. but he had to, eventually. being emcee with him is so fun! haha.. well, multimedia student always rocks! oh ya, this is another picture.

picture of the Youth @ Research crew, consist of students, lecturers & head of everything

haha... sometimes i do miss college... but i really cant go back there.. it's just now my path. i wanna specialized in art. if i didnt do it now, there's no later. i believe in that. i need to do a drastic change. i do miss all of my friend there! esp this girl;

which girl? 2nd from left, Tasha Renee!

i stole this pic from her friendster! lol, dont be angry sis! ok people, this is my twin sister in Sunway! lol... twin by name! when we walk together, surely there's confusion! lol... we called each other Tash and the rest call us Tasha Leow and Tasha Renee when we both are present! the indo gang used address me as Tasha Aaron and her Tasha Raymond during the 1st sem. this is because Ray is her childhood besties and Aaron is my partner in crime! hahaha... i dont know how that name came along. maybe because i tagged along with Aaron a lot in semester one.

ok whatever. what i know now is, i miss studying with this girl! she's fantastic in studies! the advantage of studying with her is she's hardworking and i'm a jealousy person. i'll get jealous is she already switch page and i didn't. so i'll speed up to catch up with her, even though we're actually reading a different book. lol... she's a programming student but mind you, she's good in art!

ok that was my fav shirt and i dont know where is it now! shit, my clothes are everywhere. maybe because i have too much that i even forget. i remembered this shirt just when i saw this pic! shit shit shit, i want this shirt back! someone bought it for me! damn it! anyway, me and tash like to have weird pose in front of camera and this is one of them. there's more, but, trust me you'll throw out if i upload all of them. it's too much! and i'm too lazy anyway! what were we doing with that mug of frap? lol... you guess it yourself!

by the way, that's my favourite Starbucks. well, except for the one in Gardens, KLCC, and Bukit Bintang. Yes, Bukit Bintang one is just the best! lol... i like the one in Gardens because it's quiet. for KLCC and BB, maybe because i like to sit there and see how many girl will show off their boyfriend in front of me. perhaps showing off their so-called cool dress up. lol... TYPICAL! oppss... this is not time for gossiping!

ok ok... what else do i miss in 2006? oh ya... another thing... that i miss the most!

my favourite spot to hangout in Batu Feringghi

yes, i miss penang a lot! i mean, i do go back occasionally, but it's just not the same. 70% of my buddies is not there anymore. most of them is out of there. i really miss everyone. i miss going to PenangGroup gathering. i used to be active. but now, i dont know. i'm just tight with schedule. all the gathering seems to be clashing with my exam and deadline!

picture of our PenangGroup 2006 Family Gathering Do Re Mi Cafe, Tanjung Bungah.

why i call it family? yes, we are family. we're so close. we can just make lame jokes to each other. we can curse each other. anything, you named it. this is the people you can turn to if you have anything that you need. they'll fully support you. i do appreciate every single one of them! and this is some of the girls in the PenangGroup!

from left: mad, tash, ain, hani (wearing group's official shirt), sakura

this five girls might be smiling in this pic but watch out. dont you ever underestimate us! you have a word to say to us? better think twice. we're one of the finest lady in town who grew up with bunch and bunch of vocabulary from Penang! you wanna talk shit? spit it out! we're here to serve you! hahahaa... dont be scared. that's just for people who's nasty to us. we're extremely friendly with others. no worries!

another person that i miss the most is another member of our very own unofficial sorority club (yeah right!). haha... you wanna know what it is? The Coffee and Cakes Addict Sorority! lol... the group member is me, Ary and Tiqah! so, here we go...

Ary, Tash, Tiqah in SGGS Luncheon at E & O hotel

errr... please ignore the bloated stomach... there's 3 reason why i'm bloated.. 1st, too much juice, 2nd, too much seafood, 3rd oh well, let's face it, i'm fat! lol... well, this is one of my fav pic of the three of us! i love this pic! we look superb. and those "cheers" thing is sort of a trademark for us in pictures. lol... Tiqah inform us that she's flying back from Bangalore on January, but til now, i havent heard of her. maybe she's stuck with some doctor there? ahem... lol... that's so not Tiqah. having BF is the last thing in her mind. but who knows. lol.. dont you think so Ary?

next thing that i miss the most is...

mom and dad in KLCC

this is the most precious person in my life. nothing could exchange them. NOTHING. i'm proud of both of you. you've done a lot for me. and i think you've done enough for me. it's time for me to repay you. i'm sorry. for i know that i will never finish repaying you everything you've done for me. it's just precious.

this is my happy face after coming back from saloon

and what does every single girl wish to have?? well, i'm pretty much sure that we all wants to be gorgeous. ok, i admit, i wanna be one but i'm just not. but, i'll always dress nicely because it boost up confidence. so, saloon is one of my fav place! i was happy with my long hair. not everyone could have a long healthy hair. but, i'm so dumb that i did perming on 2008 which totally damage my hair.

in starbucks - notice the perm-hair??

another thing that i miss is my teenage life. hell yeah, my teenage life rocks! you'll never guess how wild i am. lol... how did i survive in premiere school, god knows! maybe because of my parents prayers! but i love my teenage life!

when i was still doing the 3.2kg dumbbell thingy everyday.

lol.. i look fit here... and i love this place, Bukit Hijau. we went with few friend. we snap quite a number of photo but i love this one the most. lol.. kudos to Ary for this pic! frankly, i dont know where is the rest of the pic in Bukit Hijau, so dont call me and ask for it! lol...

candid pic: i was busy looking for a new heel.

before i go, i just wanna show you my hair! i want this hair back! i miss it! i miss my long brown hair! and i promise, if i got it long, i wont be a bitch and perm it again. never! i'm really sorry for damaging it til the limit i have to cut it! damn it. now i'm more ugly with my short hair!

Endy, actually there's a lot more that i want to state here. but if i were to sit and write everything down, it'll take forever! maybe next time i'll continue! well, i do look into past every now and then. so, dont worry, i'll talk more bout it next time. bye!

p/s: it took me forever to finish this blog! pheww... i'm glad i did! there's more pic i want to expose here, but time is not right YET. i'm not ready to show it all to the world wide web.

your pal,
Tasha

Why English

Time: 2.16 a.m.
Venue: Home.
Mood: Happy I guess!
Currently: Listening to Jet!

Dear Endy,
The reason why i write this right now is I'm so annoyed of how some people can just be so stupid enough to ask me "WHY ENGLISH?".

WHY?

Well, let me answer it here since i usually laugh and ignore your, your, your and your question. Why English? BECAUSE I SAID SO? Because i like it? because this is my blog? because i prefer it? because i know you'll get confused reading here? because... because... because...

BECAUSE.... WHATEVER!

The point here is WHO THE HELL ARE YOU to question me that? i mean... it's up to me either i wanna write in English or Malay! It doesnt matter. what matter the most is I UNDERSTAND MYSELF! i dont give a damn if anyone out there doesnt get what i'm trying to deliver here. This blog is dedicated to Endy, my beloved friend. did i put your name up there? NO! so, why bother?

ok readers, dont get triggered by this. chill. i'm not "shooo-ing" all of you. i'm just so perplexed why people like to mess with me?? you dont like me, well yeah... get rid of me... as easy as that. why are you bookmarking my blog, keep reading it again and again, and YM me middle of the night just to tell me that "Tash, it's not WANNA, but WANT TO". omg... i'm not that stupid that i dont know WANNA is a broken english. i knew it. YES, my english is not perfect, but it's not that bad til i couldnt differentiate between wanna and want to. OMFG!

people, please dont compare me when i'm speaking on stage as a formal emcee and in mamak stall chit-chatting with ma~ peeps. oppsiee.. another broken english, isnt it? let me ask you my question. WHY should i speak so-called BRITISH ENGLISH while i'm in mamak talking to my friend? even they dont speak Brit while we're outta school. ahhh come on... what are you trying to proof here?

i'm studying in Sunway for heaven's sake! you tell me how many of them speak malay??? ok let me count for you...

1. Maryam ( i've never see her speaking malay in Sunway except with me!)
2. Tasha Renee (Malay Indo)
3. Emi (Malay Brunei)
4. Eric @ Su Weng (I never speak malay with this guy)
5. errrr... Sharon (She speak malay like auntie.. lol..)
6. Suba ( I'm telling you, she dont speak malay with me)
7. err... i dont know... maybe someone i left out??

ok... so, out of 500-600 friends that i know in Sunway, only this few people speak Malay. even they speak English with me, because it's easier for others to understand. come on... it's unfair to most of our friend not to understand the latest gossip we're sharing! lol... most important thing of all, my boyfriend doesnt understand Malay and i'm sure he want to read this piece too, dont you think???

one more thing... dont you ever say that "hang ni jgn lupa diri, melayu buat cara melayu"(Translation: Don't forget your root. you're malay, act like one - Well, something like that. i'm not good with translation). hey, watch your mouth, idiot. i never forget that i'm a malay girl and i'm even proud to be malay. but i'm just ashamed to admit that i have malay friend like you! i don't give a damn if you drive whatever car. i dont give a damn of whatever branded stuff you bought. the stuff just dont shine on you. instead, it outshines you. too bad. you're trying too hard to impress others. why? I dont have any idea.

For your info, i can perfectly speak MALAY in Penang and Perak slang. i can understand Kelantan and Terengganu people speak. i think it's a shame on you not to be better than me in Malay for fact that i'm not a pure malay and i know better. i remain silent of everything i know because KNOWLEDGE is not a subject to show off to but to practice again and again for the rest of your life. did i tell you that i speak French? no? omg... maybe i forgot to show off to you just now. pardon! maybe i should show off to you so that you will show off something else and so forth and in the end we both get nothing but boredom of speaking to each other. not to mention getting annoyed for what we've done. I'm annoyed of myself now because i actually reply your words and wasting my time here now typing this nonsense shit.

NO OFFENSE TO MALAYS BUT....

Most of the friend i know in Penang try their best to outstand. yeah, it's good to outstand. I'll be happy for you. but the thing that i just cant resist being irritated to is your attitude that'll just provoke me. you girls will show off anything... seriously, ANYTHING.. that you have. your boyfriend. your car. your handbag. your tee. your shoes.

ok i get it.

you have Nike shoes.
you have Guess bag.
you have Roxy shirt.
you have Levi's jeans.
you have (what else they like to show off? what other brand? you fill in the blanks)
you have caucasian boyfriend.
your boyfriend have nice modified cars.
you have engage with this nice guy.

WHATEVER!

well, the next time you wanna come here showing off anything, just put in mind that...

Tasha have 6 stilettos, 2 wedges, 5 heels, 3 pumps, 1 peep-toe, 4 slippers and 4 sport shoes.
Tasha have Obermain, Aigner, LV, Barry Smith and other 9 handbags.
Tasha have more than 20 jeans (incl skirt) of brand that i cant even remember all of them.
TASHA HAVE WELL-WORKING BRAIN THAT MAKES HER THINK WISELY!

ok let me continue showing off...

TASHA HAVE 2 DIPLOMA THAT YOU DONT EVEN HAVE!

opps... you dont even pass your school exam!

so stop talking shit on my language and stop flaunting whatever you have. because i just dont bother. oh ya... another thing... please please please.... dont be so cheap to be proud of what your boyfriend had bought for you.

my bf buy me this.
my bf buy me that.
my bf buy me those.
my bf buy me everything.

cant we ladies be independent and take care of ourselves? i just hate it when i person who cant afford anything coming to me and bragging on what she's wearing which had been sponsored by dearly Mr. Boyfriend.

yes guys, I dont mean that you guys cant buy present for your beloved GF, but make sure they dont be your GF just because you're loaded. GET WHAT I MEAN?

ok why am i talking bout something else?

wait, it's not something else. this is actually the root of the problem. that girl is actually striving to be better than others. and my English is just one of her element to poke my nerves.

ok before i stop this nonsense..

kepada mangkuk2 ayun sekalian,
mampuih pi kat aku la aku nak buat apa pun. angpa kira pa? aku kacau juboq angpa ka? dok buat raplah pa pasai aku. ni blog aku. ikut suka mak bapak aku la nak tulih kot mana pun. angpa sakit tang mana? awat mak bapak tak reti ajaq elok2 ka yg dok mai buat sakit hati org? aku kacau ka marka2 angpa yg kononnya baguih tu?? pirahh... dok buat juah lebih.. setakat marka angpa pakai Wira/Perdana modified yg bising nak mampoih tu, takyah nak mai blagak tang ni. aku dah naik cemuih tgk angpa belagak. serupa barua siye.

puaih hati?? buat pertama kali dlm blog ni aku tulih melayu.

(Translation: Too lazy to translate. In short, I'm *&^%$# them)

and for your info, i actually have a malay blog but it's anonymous. so, find me if you're smart. i also have an art blog. but i dont really want you to find out that that's my work. let people judge me as anonymous rather than judging me as a friend. then the comments on the artwork wont be affected.

ok Endy, sorry sorry sorry for this stupid entry. and for others, please dont feel offended. this is just my feelings towards this stupid girl.

i'm malay
and
proud that i am

oh ya... plus the CHINESE (ehhehe, sorry dad)!

whadya think motha fucka,
Tash

Nancy Drew games!

Time: 10.37
Venue: Home.
Mood: Bored.
Currently: Waiting for my game to be installed!

Endy,
I'm just dropping by to tell ya that i've finish playing Nancy Drew: Secret of The Old Clock. Well, it's actually an easy game. well, maybe because i'm playing as junior detective. i'm currently installing another series of the game. this time i will play as senior detective. lol... see... i'm too bored! anyway, playing the game is kinda easy as i used to be Nancy Drew's fan when i was a kid. i read all of her titles. ok, i think the game is installed by now. bye!

bored,
Tasha

Boycott Israel?

Time: 5.07 a.m.
Venue: Thank god it's not Gaza, alhamdulillah!
Mood: Annoyed
Currently: Planning to switch!

Endy,
i was surfing the net and i found some interesting sites on boycotting ISRAEL! well, i know i wont contribute much but that's the least i could do besides prayers! I got a list of company to boycott from the Boycott Israel Campaign website. i found that i'm a customer of almost half of the company listed there. so, let me share with you part of the list.

Things i bought on quarterly or monthly basis:

ok everybody who knows me will know how painful it is for me to stop buying Estee Lauder. but too bad, this is a step that i take. as i said earlier, this is the least i could do. it's nothing compared to losing a mother in Gaza. totally nothing compared to been killed even when you're just 6 years old. Estee Lauder had been my favourite since i was 15. i just fall in love with the makeup range they provide. i go check out lower range brand like Revlon, Maybelline, Loreal for their limited edition stuff or just to get an eyeliner or something like that. well, it looks like i'm switching to some other brand but for sure not M.A.C.! too glamour-stage-model stuff for me while i love nude makeup.

i'm gonna tell my mom to stop buying La Mer and Lancome too. she's big fan i'm telling ya!

as for Tommy, Hugo, Aramis, CK, Timberland, GA, Ralph Lauren where i always go to hunt for gifts and perfumes... i'm saying fairwell to you and you and you. oh yes, for every single of my besties knows that i love Hugo Boss! but i'll have to pass this time! as for other brand that i visited quarterly, i'm saying goodbye to every single one of you.

And this is the stuff i buy like weekly or daily basis:

oh shittt.... i'm doing this boycott thing and i'm actually eating Maggi instant noodles cooked with Maggi chilli sauce! damn it... this is one of the hardest part since Maggi is always my choice! And i just went to Carrefour to stock up! damn it! Kit Kat is my daddy's favourite! i have to force him to stop that crap! i'm overreacting??? who wont??? look at those poor kids! i pity the family of those Israel's army. they can even kill a kid, maybe one day they'll come home and kill their own kids!

as for McDonalds is not a problem for me. i'm not a big fan of it. i just went there if i'm craving. but Starbucks and Coke is seriously irresistible. i love Coke so much! Vanilla Coke to be precise! and Starbucks... omg!! i'm addicted to it... well, i'll have to throw all this crappy drama and SWITCH for a better world. lol.... some of you might be laughing reading this blog. how come a boycott from a person could change the world... well, i'm telling ya... I'M NOT ALONE! and a cup of tea in Winter Warmers is not bad at all!! good thing bout it is LESS CAFFEINE! see... it doesnt only benefit others, but also myself!

so now i have to stop going Carrefour (shit it's the nearest to my house!). i'll switch to Giant maybe. hehehehe... Giant Kinrara is not bad. lots of stuff there!

well, this is the bits and pieces that i could write today about boycotting Israel! Maybe you could help me to spread the word??? it might not be something great to do... but at least we educate our consumer on where our money is flowing. as for me, i refuse to contribute into another living soul's grief! I'm a CONSUMER and i have the right to choose and i choose to BOYCOTT this people! well, except for this last bowl of instant noodles i'm eating! lol..

you know what i believe in now??? i believe in the voice of consumer. consumer in malaysia had been fooled for years. where is our rights? dont you think we do have rights to know everything we're purchasing??? and dont you think we do have the power of buying! we can choose to buy and not to buy products. they dont control us. we make our own DECISION. i choose to stop supporting them. WHAT IS YOUR CHOICE?

before i end this crappy entry, here's a few links on WHY THEY BOYCOTT MCDONALDS, even before this Israel thingy. Now i started to feel irritated with MCD!

Anti McDonalds Website
The Paganus Website
Anti Mcdonalds Place
anti-Mac Do
International Anti-McDonalds Day
Anti-McDonalds Essays, Articles and Links
REASONS WHY MCDONALDS IS EVIL
I HATE McDONALDS
Why does McDonalds lie in their ads?
No peace until McDonalds is deceased

any of you are welcome to copy this entry and paste it anywhere you want... well, skip the crapping part of it ofcourse! lol... last but not least, dont forget to visit the:

Boycott Israel Campaign

p/s: my blog might be one of the millions who wrote this, i might be the invisible person who "wasted" her time posting this, people might not even notice me, but i know i care! care for the world!

Concerned,
Natasha Farhana Leow