2008 is Ending Soon...

Time: 16.45
Venue: Bukit Jalil
Mood: Blurrr

Endy,
I'm back in KL and i'm going out with Suba later... New Year with Alex? no freaking way! lol... that fucker is inane! he's flying to Singapore later on... i believe he's gonna see her! lol...

i cant wait for 4th January... my Ipod is coming!!! i'm preparing stuff to be junk into my Ipod! lurrrrve it... so... what should i put inside a 32g Ipod? lol....

i gtg.. bye..

oh ya...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

wishes u goodluck,
Tash

Err... Tag??

I was browsing u-jean's blog and i found this interesting stuff... plus, i have nothing to do now and i'm freakin bored.. so, imma try it out...

The rules

Bold the statements that are true to you
Italise the statements that you WISH are true
Leave the fibs alone
Then, stab 5 guys to do the same test

I don’t watch TV these days.
I own lots of books.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I’ve tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse sometimes.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I’m TOTALLY smart.
I’ve broken someone’s bones.
I’m paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn’t survive without Caller I.D
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don’t hate anyone. I dislike them.
I’m a pretty good dancer.
I’m completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I’ve rejected someone before.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
I’m not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past.
I own the “South Park” movie.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I have dated a close friends’ ex.
I am happy at this moment!!
I’m obsessed with guys
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I’ve ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I’m proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald’s restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colours.
I can’t live without black eyeliner.
I don’t know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I’ve ever written in
I can’t stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo.
I can stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I’m an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

ok... now i wanna stab:
1. Emily
2. Maryam
3. Ain
4. Eta
5. Boi

In love with Jamie!

Time: 17.00
Venue: Home!
Mood: Happy!
Currently: Full!

Endy,
i'm watching Jamie Oliver cooking Pumpkin soup and baking cupcakes.... it looks so tempting, makes me feel like going to the bakery. now, any chef out there available? can we date? lol... i'm going to be even bigger than now! my shirt size is going to swift from medium to large!

gosh... one day i'm gonna meet this Jamie guy and congratulate him for being such a good chef! hehehe... Endy... shit..i have to go... my mum asked me to cook for dinner.... ok bye....

feeling hungry now,
Tasha

Mesmerized with the power of relationship!

Time: 17:56
Venue: Still here, Home!
Mood: Happy!
Currently: Just ended up talking to him.

Endy,
I watched i very nice movie just now. that movie reminds me of him. sometimes i wonder, can we actually last forever? does forever even exist? i dont know what to tell myself. i dont know how to comfort myself with words, for i am a very realistic person. that movie actually open my eyes to a new meaning of a relationship. we doesnt have to be together to be called lover. we can actually have each other's spirit and live our life knowing that we're actually loved, somewhere across the seven seas.

sometimes i do wonder.... what is this sick feeling of being alone. not having him around is just weakening. depressed. frustration. unstable. that's what i feel now. surprisingly, i dont feel home here. why is this happening? i'm confused. i dont know what else do they want from me. feeding me with all the sick stories, tales of their life. do i really need to know? what ever happen to the terms of privacy? yes, i'm a child. yes, i'm supposed to make them happy. yes, i'm the eldest in the family. but no, i'm not interested in your problems.

for me, i'm leading quite a stable life now. i mean, having friends, even though most of them are fake. the only thing they do best is to think of a way to fully utilize me in the name of FRIENDSHIP. well, that's sick! i miss tiqah. i knew she's struggling now in India. pity her. Bangalore is not the best place to study medicine. still, she have to obey the government's placement for her. as for me, i'm graduating soon. as the matter of fact, i'm already a diploma holder. it's just about time, for it to be official. i'm quite happy with my self, even though my CGPA is not that good. a 3.3 CGPA is nothing to be proud of....but in my world, examinations doesnt judge. people's perspective on your artwork does judge your career.

a piece of art could be useless or it could also worth millions. in this case, i dont know how to explain on how they actually judge "art". sometimes i wonder how Pablo Picasso became famous? is it because of Les Demoiselles d'Avignon? or Three Musicians?? i mean, it doesnt matter what makes him famous. yes, he's talented and he's one of my favourite artist, even though it's pain in the ass to memorize his art for my exam. well, i guess i dont have that much passion of art yet. i need to emphasized on my art from now on. i'm catching up now Endy. i hope it's still not too late.

phew...
what the hell am i crapping? maybe because i'm too bored? well, Medo told me that he's going to Langkawi with his cousin. then he's coming here to meet me. I'm so happy. I miss him. I do. A lot. Anyway, i do love Picasso and Michaelangelo. i still have the scrap book that i made for my art research on the chronology of Michaelangelo's artwork. i love it. it's so vintage. it makes me miss my drawing skill. i need to practice drawing once again! Endy, let me stop my crappy entry ok??? i need to learn to write properly. what happen to my writing essentials nowadays? shit! More reading less watching, Tasha! what happen to that little hobby called "reading"?

Till then,
Tasha Leow

Blogging from the Pearl of island, Penang!

Time: 23.30 p.m.

Venue: My house, Penang!

Mood: Happy..

Condition: errrr..... ok delete this thing from now on!

Currently: Chatting with him...

Endy,

I'm finally in Penang! been planning to go back since the past few weeks... i kinda miss the island... nothing much to say today... kinda blur and exhausted due to long distance travel.... anyway... i think santa receive my letter... lol... i talked to my mom bout my baby d700... and she seems to agree.... hehe.... so let's check my list once again... okay?

1. Nikon D700 (actually i want Nikon D3, but nah... i'm an amateur) ~ yay! i'm getting it soon, with the wide lens!

2. Ipod Touch 32g (this is my christmas gift for myself this year) ~got it, faster emi!

3. Ipod Shuffle (buying this for me and Medo)

4. Elizabeth Arden Blockbuster Edition.

5. Salvatore Ferragamo resin clutch in violet.

6. The Christmas edition of O.D.M. watch, in white!

7. A nice dress for christmas party. ~got it, orange in color

8. A pair of nice necklace, to go with the dress... lol! ~going to hunt for it tomorrow!

so for now... i've got 4 out of 8 stuff i want... i really like what i got... hurm... i'm kinda blank now... is it ok if i continue tomorrow? it's kinda noisy here! ok Endy, bye...

p/s: I miss you!

truth,

Tasha

My Christmas Wish @ Letter to Santa!

Time: 9.45 a.m.
Venue: Somewhere i love...
Mood: Happy?
Condition: errr... i thought i wanna get rid of this condition thingy?
Currently: Getting intimidated with song titled Tong Hua, by Michael Wong.

Endy,

忘了有多久
再沒聽到你
對我說你最愛的故事
我想了很久
我開始慌了
是不是我又做錯什麼
你哭著對我說
童話裡都是騙人的
我不可能是你的王子
也許你不會懂
從你說愛我以后
我的天空星星都亮了
我願變成童話裡
你愛的那個天使
張開雙手
變成翅膀守護你
你要相信
相信我們會像童話故事裡
幸福和快樂是結局
你哭著對我說
童話裡都是騙人的
我不可能是你的王子
也許你不會懂
從你說愛我以后
我的天空星星都亮了
我願變成童話裡
你愛的那個天使
張開雙手
變成翅膀守護你
你要相信
相信我們會像童話故事裡
幸福和快樂是結局
我要變成童話裡
你愛的那個天使
張開雙手
變成翅膀守護你
你要相信
相信我們會像童話故事裡
幸福和快樂是結局
我会變成童話裡
你愛的那個天使
張開雙手
變成翅膀守護你
你要相信
相信我們會像童話故事裡
幸福和快樂是結局
一起寫我們的結局

oppss... sorry Endy.. just enjoying the song! lol... i'm singing it out loud now... dunno why i'm addicted to it now... well... nothing surprising since it's a famous piece of art... even Aliff Aziz is singing Cinta Arjuna inspired from this song... hurm... the meaning of the song is a bit differ though.... anyway... let's get into our stuff...

Santa,
i have lotsa thing in mind now... so many thing to plan yet i'm still chilling and playing RPG games... i'm using up all of my time watching all of my downloaded series which i dont have time for it before... anyway... today... i wanna list my christmas wish! i wanna have few things for christmas!!! those are:

1. Nikon D700 (actually i want Nikon D3, but nah... i'm an amateur)
2. Ipod Touch 32g (this is my christmas gift for myself this year)
3. Ipod Shuffle (buying this for me and Medo)
4. Elizabeth Arden Blockbuster Edition.
5. Salvatore Ferragamo resin clutch in violet.
6. The Christmas edition of O.D.M. watch, in white!
7. A nice dress for christmas party.
8. A pair of nice necklace, to go with the dress... lol!

err... Santa.. number 1-3 i'm getting it myself... number 7-8, someone is getting it for me... can you handle the other, number 4-6... pleaseee....

ok endy... gtg... going out with ma~ peepss....

i wish,
Tasha

Just a list of great Photoshop Tutorial

Time: 06.40 a.m.
Venue: My place... duh...
Mood: err...
Condition: seriously i need to get rid of this 'condition' format from my blog...
Currently: lack of sleep? due to over-napping yesterday!

Endy,

I'm currently keeping myself FREAKIN' busy doing housekeeping on all my hard disk... putting all of my collections in order... arranging them neatly... you know... that kinda stuff... now i know what stuff i have... what stuff i've forgotten about... and what stuff i downloaded twice... lol... i lost count on my movies, series and other stuff... but i surely know that i have 7 gigabyte of Vector... hahaha.... now i'm looking for the best way to catalogue them so i could browse them easily after this... anyway... this is not what i came here for today...... let's move on...

THEN

i found a stack of photoshop tutorial list in a notepad which i named GVJFUTYX which obviously named by me by pressing whatever key my finger could reach that time! lol... wonder how am i gonna get rid of that habit... YES! it's a habit of tasha to actually put whatever name she wants... and the best part is... the name is not even making sense! for example... GVJFUTYX... even me myself was wondering what the hell was that for???? but the good thing is.... i have such a high curiousity level... i tends to open all of the WEIRD file... well... this time... it turns out to be an advantage for all of us... photoshop lover... enjoy those links ok! see ya!

http://www.thewebmachine.com/
http://www.good-tutorials.com/
http://www.stridingstudio.com/tutorials/
http://www.computerarts.co.uk/tutorials/2d/
http://www.deepspaceweb.com/
http://www.phong.com/tutorials/
http://www.spoono.com/tutorials/photoshop/
http://www.eyewire.com/tips/photoshop/
http://www.spyroteknik.com/
http://www.dubtastic.com/
http://www.designsbymark.com
http://www.effectlab.com/
http://www.jlswebsource.com/tutorials.html
http://www.designsbymark.com/
http://www.eyeball-design.com/page09.htm
http://www.absolutecross.com/tutorials/photoshop.htm
http://www.myjanee.com/jnetuts.htm
http://www.eyesondesign.net/pshop/tuts.htm
http://www.photoshopcafe.com
http://www.planetphotoshop.com/tutorials.html
http://www.pankpages.com/
http://www.stewartstudio.com/tips/phototip.htm
http://www.aqa-d.se/
http://graphicssoft.about.com/cs/ph....htm?once=true&
http://www.rtideas.com/ticks/
http://www.screaming-art.com/tutorials.php
http://www.digitaltropic.com/tutorials.htm
http://www.perfectpixels.com/index.cfm?method=photoshop
http://www.distortion.co.uk/freebies/tutorial.html
http://www.arraich.com/ps_intro.htm
http://www.teamphotoshop.com/photos...ials/ps_tut.php
http://www.eyeland.com/tutorials.php
http://user.fundy.net/morris/main.html
http://umojan99.tripod.com/
http://www.webteknique.com/
http://www.nebulus.org
http://www.wastedyouth.org/tutorials/
http://www.tutorialforums.com/index.php?referrerid=62
http://www.dreaminfinity.com/tutorials.php

oh ya... i'm not responsible for whatever happens to you when you open those tutorial sites.... e.g. lack of sleep due to addictions.... hehehe... bye..

Just sharing,
Tasha

I'm in a good mood!

Time: 4.46 a.m.
Venue: My room
Mood: Don't you read the title? duh....
Condition: Kinda exhausted due to 24 hours surfing!
Currently: Wanna forget bout degree for a while. too much excitement and stress!

Endy,
Well, after a week of moody Tasha, i'm finally back with myself. i'm suppose to start writing back to you once i hit my holiday. this one month holiday was suppose to be fun! but, it turns out to be such a stressful and important December. usually my December will be filled with parties with ma~ peeps or just hanging out at Qbar drinking my fav. cocktail! too bad it's close now! donno why! or at least i will chill at 15 with all those pool addict! will be playing for hours and just when i got out from there, it's already morning. lol...

Anyway, i'm kinda happy today because i finally found season 6 of my favourite series. well, i cant state what series here since someone will bring me to court for mentioning their name... hahaha.... what-so-ever! getting sick of people reading my blog and messaging me asking this and that. you wanna read this blog, you're welcome... if you dont get what i mean, it obviously show that you're OUT of my coverage... so, get yourself comfortable with my rules... i dont like it here, or you dont like straight forward person... you can get the hell out of here...

ok ok... i know you're kinda sick of me being so moody and frustrated towards people nowadays, Endy... well, it's just me. i dont get it.. why people like to buzz in people's life... not for me... i'm too busy with my life even to bug people's private life! so... my advice to those who dislike me or what-so-ever... JUST GO GET A LIFE...

opps... i'm doing it again... i'm being mean again... sorry endy... it's just nature.... ok lets get back to the topic...

ok... after 3-4 months of hunting for this season, i finally found it on a foreign website... dunno what language is it... why dont you check it out yourself... you might find something useful there... the site is best2u.sk.. opps... am i getting into trouble again for posting this? hahaha... opps... sorry.. being synical once again.. sorry... hehe... now, i wanna hunt for season 7... i've go through more than 100 websites to search for this 7th season... hope i could get it... and Endy please remind me to get a new hark disk and a DVD-R... i really need it.. so many things to get, yet too little space to keep!

oh ya, i forgot to wish... to all muslim in the world, all my bro and sis all over the world;

HAPPY
Eid al-Adha
(Arabic: عيد الأضحى ‘Īd ul-’Aḍḥā) or the Festival of Sacrifice

I'm kinda sad because i didnt celebrate it in penang... i was suppose to go back, but i dont know... i just dotn have the will... maybe i'll try to go back next week... i miss my mom... hurm... i'm emosionally unstable right now since i didnt go back for Eid... i didnt do anything much anyway... just floitering around and arranging my degree stuff... pheww... that's another long story! they needed almost everything from sunway in order to push me to 3rd year... everyone, please do pray for me! i really wanted to enter 3rd year... i want to finish as soon as possible...

on the other hand, i've got the offer from Academy of Art, to join 2nd year of photography... the good news is, my friend is helping me out on the financial issues... now, how does it sounds like? it spells HEAVEN for me! but still, my dream school is NYIP! i still wanted to go to NYIP... so, do i go to New York, or do i finish my degree here first and go there with more knowledge... it's a tough world out there... i will need more strengh than just this lame diploma! hehehe... oppss... underestimating myself again... hurm... well... i've got my own ruler and i know how tall do i stand... and i do realize i stand at a very low level of art! need to improve hell lot more!

i have so many thing in my head... so many plans yet not so many time... lol.. if i take my degree here in malaysia, i will be able to join 2 type of degree... i know this is strongly not encourage by the government, but yeah... it's my life... so i decide it myself! hehehe... how am gonna get through the 2 degree... that's another thing... i dont care... i'm calling someone to handle that for me!

ok that's option number 1... option number 2 is to go to NY.. but if i go there, i cant take 2 degree.. because it's against the law of the financial thing... i have to endorse only 1 degree.... thats crappy for me... because i think 5-6 subject per-week is just not enough... i need more... i cant waste my time! i wanna learn a lot.... i want all those knowledge to be stuck in my head, then blended well with habits! when all the knowledge became habit, then we're talking business here, mister!

gosh, what am i blabbering about?

oh ya... another thing... (i've got just enough thing to update you until the next year!) Nicholas, my besties and pool partner, went to Australia, for good... well, kinda miss him already... he's one of the person who understand my mean jokes, my lameness, my sarcastic word and etc.... i'll visit him when i got the time... i hope he'll do great there... how much is salary of a programmer there for a bachelor graduated student? hurm... i bet twice better than malaysia! man, this country have to change a lot!

anyway Nick, good luck on your new journey of life... i hope you'll start blogging soon... oh ya... dont forget to send me all the photograph you took! Endy, FYI, Nick is now addicted to photography... haha... i have another gang! yay! BTW Nick, my Vaio is better than your MacbookPro... hahahaha... and no matter how good the computer is, the picture editing still depends on the person, not the computer, you idiot! haha... really miss you pal! hope to see you soon... and... dont worry, i still remember to get your transcript from SCT... i'll get it tomorrow morning!

Endy,
i'll catch up soon k... wanna browse the net for now! bye!

NY or...
Tasha

MY BLOG, I REPEAT, MY BLOG!

Time: Why the fuck you care?
Venue: Why the fuck you care?
Mood: Why the fuck you wanna know?

Endy,
I'm fucking mad with people in Malaysia... seriously, i wanna go back to States! no freedom of speech here! I miss Califon City! those whoever finding the keyword... you landed in the wrong place! this is not the place for you to find that keyword! all of you can get out from here immediately! people in Malaysia is just close minded! they just read one thing and assume the thing that first come across their mind!

FELLOW MALAYSIANS,
IF YOU DON'T KNOW ME IN PERSON, PLEASE GET OUT OF MY BLOG, AND STOP READING THIS.... THIS BLOG WAS NOT WRITTEN FOR ANY OF YOU... WHY THE FUCK YOU CARE TO READ ANYWAY!

PEOPLE OUT THERE WHO READS AND INTERPRETS IT WRONGLY, AFFECT ME BADLY! NOW I'M EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE. WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE. I'M JUST FRUSTRATED AND FELT DEMOTIVATED.

NOW I'M EXPLAINING HERE THAT WHATEVER I SAID HERE IN THIS BLOG IS BASED ON MY EMOTIONAL AND HEARTACHE. NO BUSINESS HERE!

I'M A FREAKING STRAIGHT-FORWARD GIRL AND FOR WHAT I KNOW, THIS BLOG OWNED BY ME AND NONE OF YOU OUT THERE SHOULD READ IT!

SO, TO CUT THIS SHORT,

GET OUT!

AND ENDY, I'M SORRY... I DIDNT MEAN TO SAY ANYTHING HARSH HERE... BUT I'M JUST SHOCKED THAT MALAYSIANS IS SO STUPID TO RELATE MY BLOG WITH SOME OTHER STUFF! DO I HAVE THE LOGO THERE? PITY MY BOSS FOR THE MISCOMMUNICATION! WHY PEOPLE HAVE TO TANGLE THINGS UP?

OK I'M OUT OF HERE... SORRY IF I OFFENDED ANYONE... BUT IT'S JUST ME... I'M JUST A BIG FAT DRAMA QUEEN... AND THIS IS ME... WELL, FOR MY FREQUENT READER, YOU GUYS KNOWS ME BEST... ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO HAD BEEN FOLLOWING MY FEW BLOGS FOR YEARSSSSS.... AND TOO BAD FOR THOSE WHO HAPPENS TO BE A FIRST-TIMER HERE... MAYBE YOU GUYS JUST DONT KNOW ME THAT WELL....

I'M SYNICAL, I'M SARCASTIC, I'M LAME, I'M INSANE, I'M IRONIC, I'M SATIRIC

2 blog to be launch by December

Time: 12:32 p.m.
Venue: This fucking place...
Mood: Bored
Condition: hurmmm...
Currently: Bored due to lack of work!

Endy,
well, here i am again. sitting down and writing to you once again. i'm kinda proud of myself because i actually manage to urge myself to write. i wanna write like before. i want us like we used to be. i really wanna spend more time writing to you. i miss the memories of writing to you.

well, as i promise last time, i will talk on 4 things with you. just wanna announce to everybody that i'm officially a student once again. i manage to balance my financial status. haha... so proud of myself for getting 100k! muahahha... so, i went to Raffles last saturday to discuss on my degree programme there. they say i could apply for exemption up to 1.5 year. so, it means that i can finish my degree in 1.5 year. however, i do need to prepare a fantastic eye capturing Flash animation on my portfolio. they question is, HOW? do i have time for it? phew... anyone with a big heart who wish to help? well, i havent check out The One Academy(TOA) yet. maybe i'll go by 19th this month since i'm off on that day. other than that, i also have to put KLMU in my schedule. i'm planning to do my part-time studies there since they have night class. it'll be convenient for me because both Raffles and KLMU situated in KL area. if i choose TOA, it'll disaster of 1.5 year for me! i'm thinking of moving to Ampang, but.... HELL i hate that place! what does A.M.P.A.N.G. spells out for you? well, for me, it spells JAMMED! PACKED! NOISE! which i hate the most. for now, i'm comfortable with Sunway. love this place! anyway, that's out of the matter now. for me, the most important thing is to graduate by the year of 2010 as a Bachelor student! i cant wait to start a whole new journey of my life. i could proudly pronounce to people that i'm a degree student! seriously can't wait, Endy!

my parents came to KL last saturday and i spent the whole weekend with them. i had a wonderful weekend because i'm too happy to learn that i actually gonna do my degree! pheww.... i was the driver of the weekend. i drove them all over KL and Selangor. we were finding address to few places! mama, mama, you always try your best to make myself miserable. anyway... it was all worth it because my mama bought for me lots of stuff... i told her i like on Nike sport shoes, but she says Nike is commonly wear by all. so, the two of us went to Sunway Pyramid to hunt for shoes. as i expect, she rejected the Nike shoes. so, we went to some other shop. i finally bought it from Puma, which is so cute! haha... she bought the super comfortable Hawkeye pair of shoe for me too! i picked another Everlast shoe for everyday wear. the best thing bout this three shoes..... IT'S TOTALLY PAID BY MY MOM! hahaha... i bought few shirt from my mom's fav shop, Dorothy Perkin. actually it's not really my kinda stuff, but hey, no hassle in having some other stuff in my wardrobe. haha... well, some other random stuff that i bought is as usual, pants, shorts, shirts... i dont wanna waste my time elaborating it... opps... i guess i did it just now, didnt i? sorry! hahahaha.... i'm just so happy going out with my parents...

oh ya... another thing to tell you is my 7th-month-anniversary is coming soon. as soon as this saturday. well, nothing special and nothing fancy to celebrate it. we usually spend some time together and confess our feeling towards each other. not only those beautiful feeling, but also all those UNsatisfaction on each others attitude and such. well, me and Medo is having a very straight-forward relationship. you dont like it, you spit it! we're that kinda people. so, every month pass by, i could see a clearer path between us. but, i'm still being aware that there's a 30% possibility that we will be separated. for now, i'm holding on to a quote, saying, "Nothing last forever". well, we shall see what's gonna happen next. but this time, i'm stronger to fight my own feeling. if anything ever happen, i think i could manage to control myself. hehe... WTF am i thinking of all this? b... dont be upset ok? i know u know me very well... anyway Endy... i'll post our anniversary card that i printed the other day. created using vector... see, see!!!! i've told ya i'm addicted to vector!

phew... berd just give me edapharm website to be adjusted here and there. i hate edapharm! and i totally hate joomla. i forced myself to learn joomla when i started working here. i wish i dont need to learn it!!!

anyway, i posted this blog because i wanna tell you that i'm gonna post another blog managed by few fellow. one is penang group blog and another one in sunway group. i'm still working on the layout, content and author. hopefully the blog will be up soon. i'm just a bit tight-up right here. this blog is actually my dream.... to gather people that i love to blog with me!

Endy, gtg... boss gave me work!

Truth,
Unwilling Graphic Designer

Disappointed!

Time: 6.39 a.m.
Venue: WTF u care?
Mood: Sad!
Condition: Angry with everything in my life!
Currently: Thinking of robbing a bank for a 100k!

Endy,

I JUST WANT A DEGREE! IS THAT HARD??? I'M SO SAD ENDY. I CAN'T AFFORD EVEN MY DEGREE??? PATHETIC! SUCH AN IRONIC ISSUE! TILL THEN, I'M OUT! HATED LIFE SO MUCH!

just a lame diploma holder,
Tasha

Stress!

Time: 11.00 p.m.
Venue: Whatever..
Mood: anything...

Endy,
Can I please have a room for myself? sometimes i feel like i'm losing myself. Do i even love myself that much, i mean, as much as i used to adore myself?? I'm tired Endy. i'm really tired. sometimes, when i have free time, i just wanna sit and do nothing but chill. maybe with a book in my hand to read slowly until i fall asleep or simple a movie that i watch until i got sick of it? all i want is some time to rest. i'm not complaining, just hoping that people will understand. doesnt it shows in my face that im tired? well, when i think about it back, when is the last time i ever think about something? all i do everyday is work, eat, sleep, and again, work. where's the time where i used to pamper myself? i just wish i could have that moment again.the moment where i could surf the net as long as i want and fall asleep in front of computer just to woke up and go surfing again. or maybe read the same book again and again to get what the author trying to present. or maybe just chat with few friends. OMG. then to think about it again, it's been like ages since i last join a conference. serious, i dont know how to manage my time anymore. i tried my best to not be tired. but im just tired. TIRED. TIRED. is it wrong to be tired? No! waking up at 8.30 just to go work and come back at 6.30 just to get stuck in 1 hour or bad traffic!

Endy,
im not only tired, but im also stress. im trying my best here to please everyone. but sometimes, those words just hurt me. i look like im the one who doesnt care. i look like i'm evil ignoring everyone. but does anyone understand me, that i needed some rest? does anyone?

Till then....

stress,
Tasha

Join the Samsung Innov8 Run!

Time: 2:26 p.m.
Venue: One World Solution office!
Mood: ok ok...
Condition: dunno...
Currently: Working!

Endy,
i am very very sorry for the longggggg silence treat! lol... i've been so busy! anyway... i just wanna drop this thing here... my company is having this activity with Samsung... well, i dont want to elaborate too much... just scrunitize into this:

__________________________

Fun team event in which you and team members drive around solving clues with the help of the Samsung Innov8 phone. You will use features like its awesome camera, GPS maps and other cool features.

Date

1^st November 2008

Time

9 am (start) until Dinner (Ends with Prizes and Dinner). Note lunch will also be arranged.

Where

Start Point is Samsung Service Centre, Petaling Jaya (Map and directions will be sent to participants) and End Point – a Restaurant in The Klang Valley (will be notified later)

Requirements

We’re looking for fun loving people eager to try out new things and challenges. Let us know if you have a car (petrol voucher will be given). Those without cars can still take part as teams will be allocated by Samsung.

To Apply

· For BlogMobbers, just post a new post and tell us why you would like to participate. Notify us with the link to you post.

· For non-BlogMobbers, send an email to blogmob@mobileworld.com.my. Tell us something about yourself and give us your contact number too.

· Hint, hint……you stand a bigger chance if you have a car and are a Blogger too.

· If you blog, give us your blog address. Also tell us why you would like to participate by posting it on your blog. Point us to the post after that and don’t forget to give us ypur contact number.

As places are limited, please send your emails by 20th October 2008 and we will notify you by the 26^th October if you are the chosen one…….

For more info visit the BlogMob Website - http://blogmob.mobileworld.com.my or http://www.innov8run.com/ to know more about the Samsung Innov8 Run.

Hurry! Don’t get left behind….

Yours,

BlogMob Admin

PetitionSpot

Time: 10.32 a.m.
Venue: One World Solution office
Mood: Bored
Condition: Sleepy
Currently: Waiting for work!

Endy,
I'm freaking bored now. since i have free time now.. let me occupy you with updates that i never have time to write months ago! well... as everybody know, i'm now doing my internship which is also my final semester. i met my parents the other day and they urge me to pursue my degree. i told them that i'm not gonna study unless it's Photography! Yes, you can call me stubborn for i dont care whatever it is! what i know is... studying multimedia in Malaysia is useless! frankly speaking, i dont see any advantage studying multimedia here... i can say 80% of what they teach in classes is like basic (and i mean basic) knowledge. i believe all of us dont even need a lecturer for this diploma (exception of 2-3 subject)!

ok2... i will stop complaining on college! since i'm out of there now! hehe... so.. my workplace is kinda good. i mean... you know that i've change my company right? before this i was working in one malay company that run business base on events. you know how stressful it is right? the boss is freaking stupid and he knows nothing bout design, yet he wanna argue with me bout it. he yell and curse me lots of time. i was quiet because i dont want to cause trouble. he's lucky that i came there under my friend name. ok.. another stupid chapter of my life that i should forget!

so, working here under Kash, my boss and Boi, my senior designer is kinda fun. well, it's a publication world so i have to bare with the fact that we have to stayback end of the month to make sure the magazine is printed and distributed the next month! well, not really our fault if we cant manage to finish it on time. the writer gave us last minute article. so, who to be blame? frankly, i dont know! here, my job is basically designing the pages, ads and websites. for now, since i'm new, they dont dare to gamble the main acticle yet for me! hehe... the boring part of this job is the starting of the months, like this week. freaking boring because there's no article yet. yeah, we redesign some ads and pages, but still, i can say during this 4 days working for this week, i have done only redesigning websites interface and Surf ad.

sometimes i feel lucky because my internship is during ramadan... i came to work around 9.30 and go back around 5.30. so, i go back 1 hour earlier! hehehe... from what i learn, this company never gave them to go back early last year. so, i took the initiative to ask Kash. well, he's being an understanding boss allowing us to go back 1 hour earlier. as for me, they said that if i wanna go back at 4.30, then i have to come at 9. i will start coming at 9 next week. there's no point coming early to office while i dont have any job. it's freaking boring ok!

yesterday when i came back home, it was already 6.30. it was quite jammed since KL was raining. once i reach home, first thing i do is crawl up to bed and sleep. Medo wake me up around 7 and we went out for break fast. he didnt eat anything and i dont know why. maybe he dont like the food. after breaking our fast, we went to Giant Kinrara to buy stuff for our kitchen. we bought lotssssssss of stuff! hehehe... now we dont have to go out anymore. just stay at home and cook! happy! this means i can fully utilize my weekend for sleeping and playing games!

today i'm not gonna cook for breaking fast since i'm gonna send the car right after work. i'm just gonna go back by train. i think it's better since it only takes around 1 and 1/2 hours. the good thing is i dont need to drive! i can just sleep in the train! hehehehe... maybe i'm gonna eat in Masjid Jamek later. lots of malay food there. i miss malay food and i miss Penang.

oh, speaking of Penang, i'm gonna go back to Penang next week to get my brand new black Viva. my mom is arranging the document now so i just need to wait for a week. then the document will be done! yay! i dont have to borrow my uncle's car anymore. i'm so sick of taking and sending the car in weekend. it's seriously tiring. it's not near ok. my uncle's house is even further than my office. from Bukit Jalil to my office in Wangsa Maju already take 1/2 an hour(the fastest) and to my uncle will approximately take 1 hour tp reach!

ok Endy,
they gave me work already! finally!!! yay! gtg!

bored,
Tasha

Tasha & Ramadhan

Time: 00:52
Venue: Medo's place
Mood: Kinda bored
Condition: Relieved!
Currently: Listening to Jason Mraz!

Endy,
phew... it's really been a while since i last talk to you. i miss you, pal! well, work is not to blame for me not to write for you! i'm tied up by time! i swear if i were to have spare time, i would like to spend at least one hour here with you. life is really tiring nowadays. i'm having my training now in One World Solution. well, i'm pretty sure most of you dont even have any idea what is it all about. it's ok... doesnt really matter. you can just log on to www.mobileworld.com.my and you'll get some rough idea on what we're working with.

so, work had been piling up lately but yet, i dont feel stress at all. i love this company. the boss are cool and my colleague are seriously hilarious! working environment so far so good. even though my office is so far from my home! i have to drive average 1 hour to reach office (plus the jammed and those shit!). usually i will reach home around 7 something but since it's Ramadhan, they allow us to come back early. and as for my case, i can come at 9 and go back around 4.30p.m.! cool! so tomorrow i have to reach office around 9! it's ok... i prefer it that way.. as long as i could come back home earlier! means... i have more time to spend with my Medo. hehehe...

thank god now we've got our stove and we dont have to go out just to get some food! Medo seems to be happy with that thing. hahahahha.... we got it 2 days ago and since then, we've been eating at home because he doesnt even one to eat outside. hehehe... i wish i have more time to prepare a proper food for him. now, i'm only cooking simple dishes. anyway, it's all cool since it's only for both of us to eat. we're a very simple people who could survive any condition.

tomorrow is the third day of Ramadhan, and yet i still havent feel the Ramadhan mood here in KL. i really miss Penang. In Penang, i could feel the atmosphere of Ramadhan. and ofcourse, all the food which only been sold during Ramadhan! hehehe... oh ya, speaking of food... i really think i need my kickboxing class back! i'm really gaining weight. i'm 59kg now. shit! freaking fat bitch!

well, what you guys had been doing during the 3 days holiday for Merdeka? for me, i've been doing nothing. just spending time with Medo since we dont even spend time together nowadays. especially during his exam week. on Saturday, we went to Bukit Bintang to buy my heels, but i dont manage to get any that i like... well, it's ok... i've got a lot. hehehe... i'm just gonna take my time buying my heels. no rushing.


Endy,
sorry dear... gtg..

to be continue soon!

_________________________

Continued on 02:31...

Endy,
sorry for the interruption just now! hehe... ok continue my story just now... we went to BB and hang out there. after a few hours i got headache... i cant stand crowd places! and my my.... BB is fucking crowd that day... so, remembering that i've got Barbecue invitation from Emi, i went to her place. i had few chicken wings, brownies, orange juice and sparkling juice. i plan to go back around 4 but i fall asleep! haha..

the next day, we plan to take a cab to go back home, but the fucked up taxi driver charge us RM30 just to go to Arena Green which usually cost me around RM12-RM13! fuck them hard! so we decided to walk to Pyramid to get the cab there. it's usually RM17 there... yeah, Sunway price is kinda fixed for every cab but i'd prefer the RM17 than the stupid RM30! since we're there, we walk around and have coffee before we went back. i was totally out of mood during that time. and dont ask me why! i dont wanna remember that moment!

on monday, we woke up late and went to Carrefour to buy some stuff... that's when we buy our stove. hehehe... after we bought everything, we went back to Arena Green and rest for few minutes. next, we walk to the train station to go to Gombak. i have to get the car from my uncle. hehe... we reached there around 11. after that, i drove to Sunway to get my cupboard. i still have few stuff in that house that i need to transport out. but i'm gonna take my time.

speaking of the house... i have to move out since they're kinda chasing me out. i dont know why. but i guess it's because of their pathetic lame mentality. well, what can i say... they live in a rural area! hahaha... you know, MARA student! what i mean by MARA student is the student who studied in MRSM before!!!! they might be book-smart but trust me... their general knowledge is FUCKING ZERO! yeah i know it's good for them to be religious. but there's no point of you praying 5 times per day if it's just to show off to others.. and there's no point of it if your freaking mouth just cant stop to talk bout me... BEHIND MY BACK! freaking coward! come speak face to face for yourself! we'll see who knows more on religion then!

ok... back off on the religion issue! i paid my rental and bills... so... dont question me why i dont come back home and all! it's none of your mom's business! i really hate it when people dont MYOB! phew... sorry for cursing Endy! i dont mean it... but sometimes i'm just pissed with certain people who claims to be good. sometimes, i felt that it's better to be friend of a bitch than a religious "ustazah". MOST of them give me bad impression of themselves! well, no offense to any of you out there! Sorry if i offended anyone.

thank god now i moved out from there! just need to bring few other stuff that i left there. my white table, my white cupboard, some clothes and notes. the rest is already here in Arena Green. phew... i blabber and CURSE a lot today. Sorry Endy. hehehe... i do miss you, you know? it's been a while since i visit your graveyard. hurm... i wanna sleep now... i dont want to doze off in office tomorrow. see you ok? i love you, Endy! remember, you're always my best buddy and you're always in my heart. i just dont have the time to come here and write for you... i'm sorry...

p/s: as you realize, my page elements changed a lot! i added more links on "Get The Stuff" section. for now, it has Fonts, Photoshop brushes, actions and styles link. up to date, i have over 100 collection of brushed, actions and fonts....

truth,
Tasha

your girl,
Tasha

Perfect Boyfriend

Endy,

Just dropping by to post this bulletin which i found in my Friendster:

------THE SWEET PART------

Every girl dreams that one day she will find a guy that does these things for her. even the smallest action can have the BIGGEST impact in someones life.

• give her one of your t-shirts to sleep in.

• leave her cute text notes.

• kiss her in front of your friends.

• tell her she looks beautiful.

• look into her eyes when you talk to her.

• let her mess with your hair.

• touch her hair.

• just walk around with her.

• FORGIVE her for her MISTAKES.

• look at her like she's the only girl you see.

• tickle her even when she says stop.

• hold her hand when you're around your friends.

• be the one to take her hand, don't make her reach for you

• be the one to call her, don't make her always call you

• when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her.

• let her fall asleep in your arms.

• get her mad, then kiss her.

• stay up all night with her when she's sick.

• watch her favorite movie with her.

• kiss her forehead.

• give her the world.

• write her letters.

• let her wear your clothes.

• when she's sad, hang out with her.

• let her know she's important.

• let her take all the photos she wants of you.

• kiss her in the pouring rain.

• when you fall in love with her, tell her.

• and when you tell her, love her like you've never loved someone before.

guys repost as : i'd do this for my girl.

girls repost as : a perfect boyfriend

AND

-----THE NONSENSE PART------
if you don`t repost this in four minutes you will lose the one you love.

if you do repost this in four minutes the one you love will :

call you;

kiss you;

love you

Stupid Mistake, darn im stupid!

ok... this is fucked up! i tried to edit my page and i accidentally deleted all of my page element! fuck! fuck! fuck! ok sorry for cursing! i'm just stressed up! i'll try to fix this as soon as possible!

Good News!

Time: 19.05
Venue: Arena Green, Bukit Jalil
Mood: Happy!
Condition: Sick! Fever!
Currently: Feeling relieved!

Dearest Endy,
Yeah, i finally got time to write to you! so, today is my last paper for this semester and for my entire life! no more studying. i'm gonna work my ass out after this. i have few good news for you today. first, i'm done with studies. second, today is my 3rd month anniversary with my dear Medo. third, i'm going back to Penang next week. fourth, Tiqah is coming this weekend for shopping. fifth, I GOT A GOOD JOB OFFER! Cool huh?

i dont, know maybe i was blessed today. everything seems to go smoothly. even my programming paper wasnt that hard as i expected. well, it was not the easy either. but still, i manage to finish 2 hours paper in less than an hour time. cool. after this i dont have to study anymore. i'm so fucking happy!!! we're starting holiday now. i have 1 month holiday! so happy!! cant wait to sleep and do nothing here!

well, as for Medo, happy 3rd month anniversary. i never thought of having a relationship after him but you changed my mind! either we realize it or not, we're already 3 months! i'm so surprise! time flies when i'm with you! my last semester ended with a blink of an eye! frankly speaking, i'm happy with you. i hope you feel the same too! i always pray that we'll be together. right now, when i think about it, i knew i felt special with you. not because you're my boyfriend, but because you're you. uniquely designed human being. i'm lucky to have you. someone who understand and listens. you never fail to care about me. yesterday night was a beautiful night for me because you pampers me a lot! you took care of me when i'm ill. baby, thanks for everything. yeah, we're just 3 months together, but, 3 months feels like forever when i'm with you. most important thing of all, i want you to know that i love you, even more than yesterday. this awesome feeling is growing stronger and stronger everyday. thanks for putting up the pieces of me. you made me perfect. you made me stronger than yesterday. the best part, you made me forget all of those undeniable sad memories. baby, i love you!

ok, to all penangites, i'm going back to penang next week.

CONTINUED ON:
00:49, Arena Green, Bukit Jalil!

Endy,
sorry bout yesterday! i was writing my blog and suddenly i fall asleep! ok, let me continue my blog ok?

-----------------------------------------

Time: 05.30 a.m.
Venue: Medo's place
Mood: Happy
Condition: a bit sleepy
Currently: reading people's blog!

Endy, ok, first of all, the entry that you were reading just now are written on 15th July 2008, but i dont know how i totally forget bout it and leave it there in the post box for half a month. im so sorry! i'm just so busy! ok, before i continue this blog, let me paste some interesting survey that i did.... this survey was found in eta and edy's blog... hehe...

THREE NAMES THAT FRIENDS CALL YOU:


1.tasha

2.tash

3.natasha



THREE THINGS YOU’VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES:


1.reading blogs on malaysian politic

2.make tea for my baby :P

3.force my baby to finish up his assignment!



THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY:


1.chill with friends

2.spoil yourself with stuff (gadget in my case!)

3.spend time with loved ones!



THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AS OF NOW:


1.I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

2.Ruang Rindu - Letto

3.Won't Go Home Without You - Maroon 5 (i'm addicted to Adam Levine!)



THREE THINGS YOU LOVE IN A GUY/GIRL:


1.Charisma

2.Pride and Ego

3.Just love the British accents he speak!



THREE PERSONS YOU MISS:


1.Mom!

2.Tiqah

3.Ary



THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE:


1.Gadget (i'm getting Ipod and Iphone soon! Yay!)

2.Gift that are made sincerely from heart

3.ok, not to be greedy, but i'm in love with Tag Heuer! (or you can just buy me Esprit (model:ES20041261)



THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:


1.Pool!

2.surfing the net, esp blogging!

3.hanging out!!!



THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR NEXT VACATION:


1.Dubai! - i'm mesmerized by the development there!

2. Maldives! - just loved the beaches in maldives! crystal clear!

3.New Zealand! - you really gotta try the club there! love it!


THREE FAVORITE CARTOON/ANIME CHARACTERS:


1.Pink Panther

2.Butters - South Park (baby make me addicted to this!)

3.Brain - Pinky and The Brain


THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE FAST FOOD:

*honestly, i dont prefer fast food!
1.Mac D

2.1901

3.one stall in Califon City, seriously can't recall!


THREE FAVORITE DRINKS:


1.worldwide drinks, COFFEE!!

2.the original homemade Chrysanthemum tea!

3.Iced Lemon Tea - seriously addictive!


THREE THINGS FOUND IN YOUR HANDBAG:


1.Estee Lauder Makeup - 2-way-cake and 1 pallete of lipcolour to touch up my face!

2.Dunhill Fine Cut Black(Davidoff is very hard to get!) + Stainless Steel Lighter!

3.My Beloved Renoma wallet!


THREE FAVORITE COLORS:


1.Red

2.Black

3.White


TOP THREE U LOVE SO MUCH:


1.Mom

2.Medo

3.two of my best friends!


ok, this is just a crap that i paste! haha... ok, where did i stop in the last entry?? i mean, the unfinished one? i cant talk much.. it's late now and i'm driving to PD later on... ok, a very quick update on me...

1. i got the job and i quit - because i hate the environment!
2. i met Tiqah that day with Medo, we had fun and she finally bought the formal attire to be worn on 5th August!
3. Tiqah is flying to Bangalore, India for her Medical studies - i'm gonna miss her!
4. I bought a sophisticated couple pendant for me and Medo for our 3rd anniversary - not to forget, the beautiful matching necklace! i love it!
5. I'm getting my car in 2 weeks time - buying Viva
6. I've got an interview next Monday!
7. I've got another job offer in Sunway.
8. I went to Pyramid with Sharon and Melita to watch X Files - kinda bored and Melita is flying back to Indonesia tomorrow!
9. I'm going to PD tomorrow - Suba's sister is flying back to U.S. soon, so she wanna spend some time with her BF in PD (i'm the driver!)
10. I went shopping with my mom the other day and bought about 20 tshirt and a pair of formal.
11. I'm waiting for Iphone!
12. I'm getting my Ipod soon!
13. My dad got promoted, he's now the Director of the company.
14. Medo is doing assignment now, he's gonna have holiday soon!
15. I might be going back to Penang!
16. Sharon found out that i might fail my Oracle paper - next week is the exam board meeting, they might add up marks for those who have 38 or 39 marks to make it 40

ok, i think that's all i can think of for now... i dont think i can elaborate more on all this matters for now... really tired and busy.. i quit my job yesterday and i'm happy i did! i have to go and i'm really sorry for abandoning you for so long! life is getting tougher and tougher these days!

p/s: I love you!

Busy,
Tasha

I'm Not Ready For Oracle Exam!

Time: 04:46 a.m.
Venue: IndahVilla Condo, Living room!
Mood: Panic!
Condition: Tired!
Currently: Studying Oracle 9i!

Endy,
yeah, i know i was supposed to study my Oracle right now. i'm so stress that i decided to come here and talk to you. i finally came back to my place here in Indah Villa. maybe what Medo said was right. i'm wasting my money paying for the rental. i dont even go back home. i'm always there at his place. anyway, we plan to move in together soon. so, i'm have to pack my stuff from now on. it's ok. i have until end of this month to move out. hehe. i'm so worried on my exam later in the afternoon. my paper is at 2.30p.m.

we're gonna be test both on practical and theory. 3 practical question and 3 theory question. phew... i have to answer 5 out of 6. each consist of 20 marks. so, obviously i'm gonna take all the 3 practical questions. so, let's say i got 50 marks for that practical part which gonna be converted into 25 marks, and assuming i got around 35 for my assignment which will total up to 60 marks altogether. so, i need to score at least 10 marks in theory part in order to get A. OMG! i'm so gonna panic later in exam hall.

well, not to blame god... but why must he give me dengue fever and asthma at the same time last week? i need my time to study! seriously... i'm gonna fail! i mean... fail to get A! maybe this is another test for me? phew... how many test should i get in a time, god? seriously, i'm stuck here with all the notes! you know me Endy. i need 3 days to memorize all of this 6 chapters! i tried my best to memorize everything. yes, i understand everything bout the DBMS, but i believe that i have to memorize in order to get A. this is Malaysia. they mark our paper the Malaysian way, which is word-by-word marking. damn it!

sharon is already sleeping in my room. she's having exam in the morning. i dont feel sleepy but i think i need to sleep for a while later because i'm scared that i'll be snoring in the exam hall later in the afternoon. after exam i'll be meeting my beloved Medo. we're going out to Pyramid. yeah, sounds funny huh? i'm excited to go to Pyramid. do you know how long i didnt step my foot in Pyramid?? i think about a month! i miss Starbucks! and it's been a long time since me and Medo went out for a date. we're always stuck at home. i'm busy and he's also busy. i think the last time we actually went out for a nice dinner is on my birthday and that is like a month and half.

i really cant wait to finish up that paper. then i wanna go back and get ready to go out. phew... it's a 3 hours paper! damn it! i'm gonna go crazy sitting inside there doing all those shit! i just wanna think about Pyramid! Yayyyy... tomorrow i'm gonna buy necklace! and i'm planning to buy one dress too! i found one dress in Pyramid the other day! so happy! i wanna wear that dress when i meet my parents this week! oh, did i mention that my parents is coming to KL this week? they're gonna help me buying my car. my mom also gonna buy me my ipod! been waiting for that for so long. when i think about all the reward that she's giving me, i felt better! i feel so pampered when my mom bought me stuff! haha... this is not good, Tasha! you're not suppose to spoil yourself! hahhaha... that ipod is actually my 20th birthday present. she doesnt have the chance to give it to me earlier since she's in Penang!

whatever it is... i'm more excited to meet my parents than anything else. they seems to be okay now. i couldnt be happier Endy. sometimes, i'm scared to live my life without them but i know i have to get used to it. i'm a big girl now. i cant be depending on my parents. i love them too much to burden them. i'm quitting studies because of them. so, i hope they'll work less after this. i dont want them to suffer because of my studies. they really got affected because of my studies. i knew i could keep that dream and find a good job for myself. i can do this, because i am Tasha. there's nothing easy in my life. Academy of Arts, you'll have to wait few more years for me to come! San Francissco, i'm gonna be there in few more years. just wait for me! i'm coming! i promise myself that i'll make it. i can disappoint anybody, but not myself. i love myself too much.

Endy,
next week, i'm officially not a student anymore. no more classes. no more MMPL. no more CLC. no more lecture. no more skipping class. no more assignment! no more exam. and most important thing of all, no more suffering face of my parents. they can take a break now. it's time for me to take care of myself and of them.i'm trying my best here to be happy with this stupid Diploma. i have to learn to be satisfied that my education stops here. sometimes, i feel angry to some student who have the opportunity to study, even in luxury and they're wasting it. guys, you're so lucky to be blessed. do you know how much i keen for a degree? do you know how much i wanted to continue my education? do you know how fancy is my dreams?

Endy,
everytime i think and talk about this, my tears started to drop. i dont know why. i'm weak Endy. i need you. only you understand me! i wish i could continue my degree next year. i will do anything to get that dreams! well, except for exchanging it with Medo or my family. never! this is my strength. i'll never survive without Mama, Papa and Medo. Mama, thanks for those beautiful word you gave me. Papa, thanks for all those advice. Medo, thanks for all the hugs and kisses and not to forget, thanks for wiping my tears and for being there when i needed you the most. i dont know why. since April 2007 til now, i'm always crying. why Endy? why? is this process of growing up? or it's just me being weak?

Medo,
you know that i love you and i will never leave you with any chances. i really need you in my life. i know you're always there for me. i know how much you care about me. i know that you're always worried about me. trust me honey, i can take care of myself, even though it's tough living my life in this world. i'm glad that god sent you for me. i was still in the process of healing when i met you once again this year. i'll always remember your word, "Believe in Destiny". i promise i'll be strong. i promise i'll always be there for you. i'm sorry for being such a bad girlfriend. i'm sorry for arguing with you, EVERYDAY. i'm sorry that i'm not as beautiful as other girls. i'm sorry with my peculiar attitude. i'm sorry that i'm not good enough for you. i just know one thing and i'm very sure of it. i love you and i wanna live my life with you.

Endy, i'll continue next time. i wanna get some rest. i dont feel like studying anymore. bye!

I'm not prepared for exam,
Tasha