Sunday, December 21, 2008

Mesmerized with the power of relationship!

Time: 17:56
Venue: Still here, Home!
Mood: Happy!
Currently: Just ended up talking to him.

Endy,
I watched i very nice movie just now. that movie reminds me of him. sometimes i wonder, can we actually last forever? does forever even exist? i dont know what to tell myself. i dont know how to comfort myself with words, for i am a very realistic person. that movie actually open my eyes to a new meaning of a relationship. we doesnt have to be together to be called lover. we can actually have each other's spirit and live our life knowing that we're actually loved, somewhere across the seven seas.

sometimes i do wonder.... what is this sick feeling of being alone. not having him around is just weakening. depressed. frustration. unstable. that's what i feel now. surprisingly, i dont feel home here. why is this happening? i'm confused. i dont know what else do they want from me. feeding me with all the sick stories, tales of their life. do i really need to know? what ever happen to the terms of privacy? yes, i'm a child. yes, i'm supposed to make them happy. yes, i'm the eldest in the family. but no, i'm not interested in your problems.

for me, i'm leading quite a stable life now. i mean, having friends, even though most of them are fake. the only thing they do best is to think of a way to fully utilize me in the name of FRIENDSHIP. well, that's sick! i miss tiqah. i knew she's struggling now in India. pity her. Bangalore is not the best place to study medicine. still, she have to obey the government's placement for her. as for me, i'm graduating soon. as the matter of fact, i'm already a diploma holder. it's just about time, for it to be official. i'm quite happy with my self, even though my CGPA is not that good. a 3.3 CGPA is nothing to be proud of....but in my world, examinations doesnt judge. people's perspective on your artwork does judge your career.

a piece of art could be useless or it could also worth millions. in this case, i dont know how to explain on how they actually judge "art". sometimes i wonder how Pablo Picasso became famous? is it because of Les Demoiselles d'Avignon? or Three Musicians?? i mean, it doesnt matter what makes him famous. yes, he's talented and he's one of my favourite artist, even though it's pain in the ass to memorize his art for my exam. well, i guess i dont have that much passion of art yet. i need to emphasized on my art from now on. i'm catching up now Endy. i hope it's still not too late.

phew...
what the hell am i crapping? maybe because i'm too bored? well, Medo told me that he's going to Langkawi with his cousin. then he's coming here to meet me. I'm so happy. I miss him. I do. A lot. Anyway, i do love Picasso and Michaelangelo. i still have the scrap book that i made for my art research on the chronology of Michaelangelo's artwork. i love it. it's so vintage. it makes me miss my drawing skill. i need to practice drawing once again! Endy, let me stop my crappy entry ok??? i need to learn to write properly. what happen to my writing essentials nowadays? shit! More reading less watching, Tasha! what happen to that little hobby called "reading"?

Till then,
Tasha Leow

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