he asked me 3 times today, when am i going to update my blog. yes, i did write 3 entries, but it's still in my draft. will finish it tonight, insyallah. i dont want to write yesterday. why? i'll tell you later ;)
i know i've been talking a lot bout you lately.
i dont know either you like it or not.
but i just want to share my feelings.
i hope you feel the same too.
suppose to be the sweetest talk ever.
since you're leaving to Sabah for two months.
it seems that we had some misunderstanding.
we talk, argue, had a sad moment, and reconcile.
i wanted to ignore you for a while.
but i know that i can't do that.
i know that last night is the last night we could see each other.
don't be gloomy for what had happen.
i'm glad, for it had shown your love towards me.
everything happens for a reason.
you said the most wonderful thing that a girl could imagine.
you did the most shocking thing that i never thought you would.
the best thing of all, you touch my heart.
i'm touch of your words, your sincerity and your kindness.
before you left, i know you're waiting for me to say something.
you hope for beautiful words to come out from my mouth.
you hunt for sadness in my face and my voice.
and i know, you found none.
don't be fooled Jack.
for i am a good actor.
i know how to hide my feelings.
i've been doing that for years.
to be honest, really honest, i miss you too.
i'm just in the phase where i could spill the words just yet.
maybe i'm just not ready, to be fully committed.
don't get me wrong, never ever get me wrong.
it's not that i don't trust you or i don't love you.
i'm just taking my time falling in love with you.
trust me that process is beautiful.
i want to enjoy every single moment of it.
i want to do it slow, because i like it that way.
do you know how proud i was when you told your friend that i'm the one?
do you know how happy i was when you call me sayang?
do you know how honored am i when you hold my hands tight?
do you know how touched am i when you try your best to please my heart?
do you know how sad i was when we say goodbye?
do you know how hard i try to act cool when all of the above happens?
trust me, it's tough to hide feelings from you.
for i've fallen in love with you.
and all i want right now is just to be with you.
holding hand and just talk our heart out.
beautiful isn't it, Jack?
starting today, life gonna be different.
because you're not here with me.
you're so far away, far far away.
what i'm gonna do, Jack?
just few things i want you to remember.
remember that i love you.
remember that i miss you.
remember that i'm right here waiting for you.
Take care Jack.