Al-Fatihah

You've lost your beloved brother.
Whom you love and respect.
I hope you'll be strong and subtle.
To accept the fact that he's gone.


I believe, He's a great man.
I believe, He's a good son.
I believe, He's loved by everyone.
I believe, He's done his best in life.


Now,
He's gone.
Leaving us behind.
With lots of memories.


I want you to be strong.
Accept it with an open mind.


All we can do now is to pray for him.
Hoping that god will give him the best place.


Al-Fatihah.

Star

Bulan Mei

Mostly correct, but not all.


Keras hati & degil. (BETUL)
Kuat semangat & bermotivasi tinggi. (BETUL)Pemikiran yang tajam. (BETUL)Mudah marah apabila tidak dikawal. (BETUL)Pandai menarik hati & perhatian orang lain . (SALAH)Perasaan yang amat mendalam. (BETUL)Cantik dari segi mental & fizikal. (SALAH)Tidak perlu dimotivasikan.(BETUL)Tetap pendirian, tetapi mudah dipengaruhi oleh orang lain. (SALAH)
Mudah dipujuk. (SALAH)Bersikap sistematik (otak kiri).(BETUL)Suka berangan. (BETUL)Kuat daya firasat memahami apa yang terlintas di hati orang lain tanpa diberitahu. (BETUL)Bahagian telinga & leher mudah diserang penyakit.(BETUL)Daya khayalan yang tinggi.(BETUL)
Pandai berdebat.(BETUL)Fizikal yang baik.(SALAH)Kelemahan sistem pernafasan.(BETUL)Suka sastera, seni & muzik serta melancong.(BETUL)Tidak berapa suka duduk di rumah.(BETUL)Tidak boleh duduk diam.(BETUL)Tidak punya ramai anak.(TAKNAK TERUS BOLEH?)Rajin dan bersemangat tinggi.(BETUL)Agak boros(BETUL)

5 months...

Jack,
It's been 5 months.


I hope we'll be better.
I hope we grew stronger.
I hope we understand each other.
I hope you know that i just want to be together.


I've missed you at a point.
I've hated you at some point.
I've love you at a high point.
I've hope for you at that point.


I'm sorry.
For I've been such a mess.
With all my stupid attitude.
I guess, i was just being a woman.


Naturally complicated to understand.
Unpredictable feelings and attitude.
High expectation on the man I love.
Being so needy and clingy lately.


I just need you right now.
I'm going through a very tough process of my life.
Shits that i hate to admit that i'm really fucked up.
All i wanted is to be successful and shits happen.


5 months.
Happiness that we share.
Sorrow that we share.


Every single moment.
Every single routine.
Every single experience.
Every little thing.


That makes us.....US.
That Ace and Jack.
You're my Jack.
I'm your Ace.


Honestly,
I'm happy.
I'm honoured.
I'm pleased.


To be yours.
Just yours.
I'm yours.


Just sometimes,
I think you cross my limit.
You've cross that border.
That tested my patience.
and of course my love.


Sometimes,
When i need you.... you're not there.
When i want to talk to you.... you're not interested.
When i try to make you understand..... we're just not on the same page.


I love you, Jack.
And I'm the kinda person who BELIEVES in love.
And i believe we're meant to be together, forever.
That's the reason why i accepted you 5 months ago.


What I hope in the future is,
For you to put some effort for me.
For you to show that you love me.
Not just a word or promises.


You're so stiff. 
Yes, you are.


I'm sorry to say,
That other man takes care of me better than you do.
That other man makes me feel comfortable to talk to.
That other man really make effort to show that they love me.


I'm not comparing.
I don't even want to compare.
Because they're nobody in my life.
Just some man trying to win my heart.


The thing is,
My heart belongs to you.
I just hope you could show me.
That you really TREASURE me as your girl.


THAT'S ALL I WANTED.


SERIOUSLY, THAT'S ALL.


Whatever it is,
Happy 5 months anniversary ;)


I love my Jack.




P/s: Please don't take this as a sad note. I'm just concluding the whole 5 months. What happen between us. Nothing sad right now. I'm fine and I'm perfectly happy right now.

Your Ace,

Tasha Leow

Tasha Leow is SO back!

Yes peeps. 
I am so back.
No hassle passle.
No more gloomy days.


LETS HAVE FUN!


Can you believe that this morning i dance to the tune of Basshunter, Pitbull, Usher, Taio Cruz and Black Eyed Peas for 2 straight hours? 


I am so feeling good bout myself.


YES.


TASHA LEOW IS BACK.


and she's better than ever.


meet me on the dance floor next week peeps. 


We'll see who have the last dance!


I'm telling ya, i can dance for 7 straight hours.


Be prepared.


OMG.


I'm back.


I'm back.


I'm back.


I'm back.

Tasha Leow.

Your Future Married Life

Check it out. I think most of the thing stated there are SO true!

I am Tasha Leow.

I want to be her. 

I don't want to be Ace.

I want to be that Tasha who used to be happy.

I want to be that Tasha who used to be ignorance.

I want to be that Tasha who never care bout feelings.

I want to be that Tasha who love herself more than anything.

I want to stop bothering people's life.

I want to stop wondering bout others.

I want to stop being so gloomy everyday.

I want to stop being so predictable to others.

I think it's decision time.

I think i can go through this on my own.

I think Jack deserve to be free.

I think he can do better without me.

But how?

How do i do this?

I love him dearly.

I miss him dearly.

Maybe i'm being too clingy.

Maybe i'm being too weak.

Come on Tasha.

You can do this.

You've done it with Medo.

You can do it with Jack.

Stop bothering him.

Stop running to him.

You can solve your own stuff.

You can be yourself once again.

You can stand up like you used to be.

You can be the person i used to know.

Try your best Tasha.

For what it's worth.

Where is that Tasha Leow?

Who used to be so powerful.

Holding every single piece of her life.

Drawing every single path of her life.

Like there's no tomorrow.

P/s: Help me, being myself. Be that Tasha who didn't need a man in her life. That Tasha who just call her guy once a week. Giving him enough space to breath, and to live his own private life. GOOD LUCK Tasha.

I miss myself,

Tasha Leow

I am Ace. You're Jack.

I'm done, calling you.
I'm done, looking for you.
I'm done, thinking bout you.
I'm done, trying to make things work.


From now on....


If you remember me, you call me.
If you need me, you look for me.
If you miss me, you'll think bout me.
If you LOVE me, you'll work things out.


For now, 
i've put all my cards on the table,
played my part of the game,
just waiting for your turn,
to flip your card.


I am Ace.
You're Jack.


No matter what we played,
I have nothing to lose.


REMEMBER THAT.

Ace

Heart to Heart with Jack

I know i'm not suppose to write this here.
But for the sake of remembering this event.
I'm gonna share it here with you guys.
Here it goes.


I had a fight with Jack.
A big fight, that could end our relation.


Reason?
I don't know.
I thought that he changed. 
He thought that I changed.


I have an instinct.
I damn strong one.
Saying that he's hiding something.
Saying that he's up to something.


How?
I don't know.
I can't explain.
It's just my instinct.


Being us, we decided to talk.
and we did, yesterday morning.
We talked, we argued, we discussed.
and, we RECONCILE.


Yes we're fine now.
Just one thing bothering me.
One thing that Jack said to me.
Which totally slaps me into reality.


Imran had been such a great influence in my life.
That I actually feel down whenever something happens.


But with Jack, i just feel stress-out and pissed.
All i wanted is to get out of the trouble and forget it.


Jack made me realize that our relationship is so different.
That i can't never love him the way i love Imran.


NEVER.
Because he is who he is.


I've been talking bout a level.
A very high level of True Love.
I believe that Ace and Jack will be there.
One fine day. Not never. Just not now.


So, here we are.
Back to square one.
Except, things changed.
Now, I love him more.
and he loves me more.


Jack,
I hope we will survive this relationship.
Because I know that I love you so much.
I don't want any other guy in my life.
I just want you.
Only you.

Your Ace.

A letter from mom and dad.

I love you, mama and abah. I promise to be there for you, till your last breath. No matter how old i will be, i am always your LITTLE GIRL. you can always talk to me, like how we used to be, and how we are now. My mama and abah is my best friend. they're the first thing i think of in my every steps.

WATCH THIS VIDEO

Tasha Leow

Aku lagi best dari ang ok!

WARNING: This is a hatred entry. So, expect me to be snobbish and rude. Aku tadak niat nak menghina sapa2, kecuali pompuan gila tu. So, angpa yg len2 toksah dok buat terasa. mau penampaq ka?

Tadi aku terbukak pic kawan yang aku agak menyampah la. Well, kami tak la sampai tahap bergaduh. but, mmg nampak la dia tak suka aku, and aku pun tak suka dia. Aku sendiri pun tatau pasaipa dia mmg anti dgn aku. padahal aku mmg ok dgn dia. Tapi sejak dia menghina aku, SORRY la kan. mmg aku pangkah la betina ni.

Well, she's the type yg aku nak golongkan into 3 type of people:

1 - Settle with just an ordinary life.

2 - Thinks that she had the perfect life.

3 - Look down on others.

Ok, number 1 tu aku tak kisah sgt. definition of "happy" tu memang la sgt2 wide. very various. tapi for a belagak person like her, why do you just settle with ordinary? why didnt strive for the best? orang yg kononnya nak pakai sports car, buy houses in places like bukit antarabangsa and such.... why didnt i see the sparkle in your life? why just ordinary? well, selama ni pun dia dok kritik aku. 

dia kondem brand2 yg aku pakai. not that aku peduli pun. baju RM10 pun aku pakai kalau aku suka. pasar malam pun aku pi. aku kira pa. tak percaya, pi tanya Cik Hasnas Jafri, my bff. kami pi pasar malam nak beli bihun sup sedap tu, tp on the way, nampak kedai jual earring. kami boleh pi stop, beli earring yg super cute, harga RM1 ja per pair. see, i'm not a brand victim. aku pakai apa aku nak. i dont give a heck bout brands. 

Yes, aku gila Charles & Keith wedges, Christine Louboutin stilettos, Ferragamo handbag, Coach wristlet, Estee Lauder makeup, and bla bla bla. whatever shit it is la kan. aku mmg ada certain brand yg aku akan beli certain item. sebab aku rasa design dia sgt catchy. sesuai dgn jiwa aku. tp yg aku tak paham, pasaipa pompuan ni nak kepoh2 hal aku? Aku tau aku suka fashion and aku tau aku fashionable (walaupun kadang2 aku pakai benda pelik2). pompuan ni plak just pakai blouse makcik2, and beggie jeans yg aku tatau zaman bila punya dia pakai. 

in short, she's trying to compare herself with me! aku tak heran pun. whatever la kan. like i care. pompuan ni dah la pendek dari aku. ok, aku 5' 3" which is sgt short, coz most my my girls mmg 5' 7". imagine that girl, i guess she's about 5' ja kot. oh ya, she's like 80kg, which is super fat! she had oily face, uneven skin tone, BLACK HEADS!, and paired up with an ugly smile. I didnt see how is she suppose to compare with me? Even aku yg buruk ni pun cakap dia buruk. OMG. tak bley blah ok spesies mcm ni. 

Wait, lets compare.

Aku Graphic Designer

Hang Clerk

Aku grad Sunway University

Hang drop out of some cheap college

Aku berkawan dgn future doc, future lawyer, future tourism expert, future bla bla bla bla.

Hang.......TADAK KAWAN!

Aku baju saiz M

Hang saiz XXL?

Aku makeup sgt vouge

Hang makeup makcik2 (sumpah aku nak tergelak tgk eyeshadow tak blend ang)

Aku akan sambung study

Hang duduk rumah tak buat apa

Aku akan start career aku

Hang duduk rumah tak buat apa

Aku akan succeed dlm hidup

Hang STILL duduk rumah tak buat apa

EXCEPT ang akan cuba compare diri ang dgn aku

try your best to make me look bad in your eyes

and ended up and sendiri yg bodoh!

kan kan kan?

P/s: Jack, if we ever got married, she'll be on my VIP list. I really wanted to rub her face with my Tiffany! It's a dream come true moment!

P/s/s: Maryam sah2 tau aku tgh ckp pasai sapa! wakakakak.

Wishes

Happy Birthday, to a guy i used to love.

Imran Quadir.

May God bless you with a beautiful life.
Because, you deserve just the best in life.
You taught me the precious meaning of love.
You've shown me such care and tender.
You've been such an amazing person.
I've never been happier in my life.
And I will never be.


We might not belong together.
Deep inside us, we're fighting the urge.
The desire of wanting each other so badly.
The desire of missing each other so badly.
The piece of every precious moment we had.


The thing between us, called chemistry.
We're seriously perfect. So perfect.
That others envy us so much.
Wishing that they have what we had.


I am sorry.
I will never turn back.
As I belong to someone else now.
Someone who has been so amazing to me.
His name is Jack. My one and only Jack. 


Jack, I love you.
No one can deny that.
No one can change that.
No one will ever understand that.


Just you and me.
Cherishing our love.
Now and forever.


I believe in you.
Because I love you.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha Everyone

I'm yours, Jack,

Natasha

I love my blog - Part I

For those out there, who owns a blog, a journal, or anything like that, this entry is dedicated to you guys. 


Ok, i'm facing  a case right here. i talk to one of my good friend on the net last night. she's a fun amazing girl. well, i hope she won't mind me writing bout her case here. just to share experience. She told me that she just deleted her blog, her 4 years blog. personally, i love her writing and i love that blog. never missed an entry. it's a personal blog, so she blog bout whatever happens around her. including the guy she had crush on, what she ate, family issue, yada yada yada. you know what i mean, right? 

So, i was shocked. For me, to delete something that you work on dedicatedly, for a few years, is just insane. Yes, for some of us out there, it's just a blog. something you put on the net. that's all. for me, well, i guess, for MOST bloggers, our blog is one of our most treasured treasure. Yeah, what the heck, i just write shits here, gossip bout my friend, talk shit bout my enemy, blabber bout my fashion sense, stuff i like, my Jack, and some other unimportant stuff. i think, even though what i write is junk, i still love this blog. the place where i express myself, be honest, totally honest, and learn more bout myself. trust me, i find it fun, reading on my own journal. thinking, how silly i was, back then. of course, learning from mistakes, day by day. 

Well, the reason why she deleted her blog was, she thinks that she can no more be herself there. she can no more write flawlessly. she can't be honest bout her feelings, she can't write some stuff and she have to think twice before writing anything there. Reason? Because the guy she love the most, is stalking her blog, and questioning every single piece she write there. questions like, "Why do you write that?", "Why do you do that?", "why do you think like that?" and etc. this is so frustrating. even for me. i've been through that. it feels like shit. i was like, "WTF, this is my freaking blog!". this is how i feel, deal with it. trust me, i've reach that moment, where i can no longer be myself in my blog. it's such a turn off for me. i don't know what to write. so, i decided just not to write, which is another frustrating case, because i love to write, even though i sucks in writing. i know, nobody gonna read my piece of junk here, but hey, i love this blog. deal with it. 

Ok, a piece of advice for you guys/girls out there. if your man/woman owns a blog, try to read her blog with an open mind. treat yourself as one of the reader, not as their bf/gf. of course, you can question us bout anything that we write in the blog, but please be careful with your words and tone. words could be harmful, tone could make it worst. don't make us feel pressured writing. we're just having fun, sharing our piece of mind right here. nothing much. one more thing, when we write something here, please don't take it too seriously. like, when i tell you guys, i hate my mom. well, that's just a 5 minutes moment of my life. shits happen. we all have our boiling point, and i'm not ashamed to admit that my boiling point is very low. i can reach there very fast. so, don't trigger it. be smart, like my Jack. he knows how to deal with me, even when i'm angry. 

All I want to do, is write, and, maybe, 20 years from now, read this blog through, before i die, thinking of years of my life. At least, there's a prove that Tasha Leow was once there in everyone's life. This blog, is a living prove. Trust me, you'll treasure this junk, one fine day. Cheers to all writers around the world. I SALUTE you guys. Never ever give up people. Don't stop writing, because, there's someone out there reading!

P/s: She retrieved her blog, and she never felt better. Never give up, babe! I'm with you.

P/s/s: I have a dream of registering for copywrights in the name of Tasha Leow, one fine day.

P/s/s/s: Wait for Part II of this issue. Gonna post it later, at night.

Blogger since August 2006,

Tasha Leow

Again....

.... ade saje la korang2 ni dtg menyempit. wakakakaak. tak boleh tgk org senang 5 minit ka??? 

Ace Heart

Statement...

aku bosan pagi-pagi ni.

so just bloghopping je la.

tiba-tiba sorang kawan lama, 

rasanya last jumpa dia 2005,

PM aku kat Facebook.

sembang punya sembang,

dia cakap dia nak single.

aku rasa dia mcm takut.

aku klua satu statement.

"satu hari nanti ang akan jumpa org tu"

Dia diam. aku tambah lagi statement.

"love is beautiful"

Diam lagi.

so aku tambah lagi satu statement.

rasanya ultimate la kot statement ni.

ke statement ni sebab aku tgh in love dgn Jack?

"bagi aku la kan.... tak sempurna hidup takde cinta."

warhhhhhhhhh statement aku!!! 

betul ke weh ape aku ckp ni?

lain gile aku skang ni!

DAMN.

mcm boleh mati lak takde cinta kan? 

adeh, apa nak jadi ko ni tasha?

btw, minah tu tak reply terussssssss!

mungkin dia terkejut dgn aku.

pompuan heartless yg dia kenai dulu,

dah berubah tahap kaw punya.

(In memories, 2 Nilam 2002, budak duduk sebelah aku, kena kantoi dgn Miss Lee. Nanti aku cerita!)

P/s: zaman skolah dulu, aku budak paling jahat skali. sampai skarang kalau cikgu-cikgu jumpa aku, depa nanti senyum panjang. pastu cerita kat student-student depa, ni student paling gila depa penah jumpa. demerit aku bersepah-sepah. boyfriend? sorry tak layan! (except for Nick). tu pun sembang aku hang dgn dia. damn. dlm kepala otak aku, nak blah class, nak lepak jamming, nak lari dari rumah. kesian mak bapak aku. ish ish ish.

Masa form 2 angpa panggil aku,

DevilTash