i lost...

time: 4:29 a.m.
venue: home
mood: sad!
currently: eating mix-berries yogurt..

Endy,
pardon me for being so lame nowadays. cant help it. just being plain sad. a lil bit down. too much pain swallowed. wish there were pain killer for this.

to be honest...

i lost a friend.

i lost a soulmate.

i lost my besties.

i lost my pool partner.

i lost my movie-marathon partner.

i lost my tv series partner.

and...

i lost my soul.

thank you god.

thanks a lot.

bye!

to be honest...

i miss u...

really i do...

god knows what's happening right here... right now...

ya allah, kuatkan hatiku... tabahkan jiwaku...

kalau betul aku yg salah, maafkan aku...

walaupun aku taktahu apa salah aku...

really... i dont know...

i just miss u...

and i care bout u...

-ur girl-

Medo

B...

dont do this to me...
i cant accept this...
give me a chance...
coz im your little girl...

if i told u that it hurts, will u come back to me?
if i told u im crying, will u wipe my tears away?

B...
please...

just answer my call..
or call me...

coz i need u...

i really do...

im sorry for everything...

~your little girl~

I'm making this blog private!

YES, I DONT WANT ANY PROBLEM WITH THIS BLOG ANYMORE.

what do you think?

P/s: anyone who still want to follow my blog, please drop your email in the comment box!

stress,
tash

Benci!

ada satu barua ni sibuk sgt pasal hal aku pasaipa? saja nak bagi aku dgn B bertekak. cibai kan? FAK U!

-tash-

Selamat Hari Raya

...maaf zahir batin.

aku tak jadi beli N900, beli E71. ada apa2 cadangan software yg best??

P/s: aku sengaja tulis blog dlm bhs melayu. nanti aku ceritakan sebabnya!

Ramadhan itu bulan penuh dugaan...

"brapa harga baju ni"

"RM180 lepas less"

"tak boleh kurang lagi ke?"

"tak boleh kak, ni kain songket and baju dia kerawang. mahal ni"

"boleh try?"

"boleh"

after trying...

"RM170, nah"
.....sambil bagi RM50 empat keping.

"RM180 abang"

"tak boleh kurang ke?"

"ni mmg dah diskaun"

"nah ambik la duit, takmau duit ke?"
.....sambil baling duit empat keping td atas meja.

"abang, bagi je la RM180 tu"
...wife dia ckp

"ok lah RM180 pun takpe. boleh bayar. takde masalah"
.....nada kurang ajar.

"terima kasih"
....sambil ambik duit tu and bagi balik duit RM20 dia.

FCUK YOU!

-mau kena pukoi ramai2 baru dia tau. barua siye. mcm aku heran sgt duit ang. haktuih!
-kalau mak aku takda depan tu, mmg aku akan ckp,"ambik balik duit ang, aku takmau! sekarang boleh berambus!"
-mcm ni ka cara nak bagi org rezeki? do you think that i'm just another sales girl? WRONG!

menyampah+sakit hati,

Tash

Tag From Addy

Time: 4.15 a.m.
Venue: Home, Penang!
Mood: chill.
Currently: Blog-hopping, while listening to Lenka!

Endy,
i've got a tag from Addy. ok, i've been facing this problem since last week. i can't edit my entry, from the bar itself, and from the html code. what the hell is happening here? so, this explains all of my crappy unedited entry. if u notice, my entry are always justified, Small Trebuchet fonts, and paragraph properly. that's my format of writing. but blogger doesnt make sense recently, and i'm too lazy to find out why! so, i'll fix it all when i'm having my own laptop! **problem solved

ok back to the tag, Addy had tag me with something that make me dig-dig-dig my travelling makeup case. lol. speaking of which, i bought a new mini makeup bag for me to carry to my mom's shop. bought it with Aiza. we bought the same pattern *wink wink*.

ok, i dont really remember the details bout the product, but i will try my best to describe it, lol.

Shampoo: Herbal Essence-the blue bottle (i used to be a loyal user of Vidal Sassoon, but it got discontinued in malaysia)
Conditioner: i dont wear conditioner but i do own this great hair cream and for god's sake i don't know the name. it's from Japan and i have not learn how to read Japan kanji! lol.
Styling products: Loreal (pink bottle), gatsby spray (silver bottle), and one red bottle hair-spray that i left in kl, and cant remember the brand!
Shower Gel: Dettol. lol. i like the smell!
Body moisturiser: St. Ives Vitamin E (after using it for 2 weeks, my friend notice that my skin is clear and smooth!!!)
Deodorant: Rexona Teens (blue cap) and Nike Woman.
Fake Tan: not applicable! lol. dont really need it anyway.
Cleanser: Vitamin E (yes the brand is Vitamin E, bought it from pharmacy), Clinique 'take the day off' makeup remover, Clinique liquid facial soap, Nivea deep pore control.
Exfoliator: St. Ives Apricot Scrub, Freshman Apricot scrub, Aspirin!!
Primer: Revlon Beyond Natural(don't really use it anyway, because i usually start my makeup right after moisturizer!)
Foundation brush: MAC 190, MAC 195, one brush from pharmacy (i dont really use brush for foundation except for mineral).
Concealer: NYX Concealer Stick - Porcelene, NYX Concealer Stick - Beige, Elianto (forget what shade, but i bought the darkest).
Powder: Estee Lauder two-way cake (so far the best ever!), Maybelline Angel-fit ( i dont feel guilty buying it!)
Blusher: Estee Lauder, Elianto (there's this one shade of shimmer light brown eyeshadow that i use as blusher, lol), Clinique Most-Wanted Colour Limited Edition (rarely use this), Revlon Beyond Natural,Revlon ColorStay Mineral Blush, Maybelline Dream Mousse Blush and bla bla bla.
Bronzer: Dream Mousse Bronzer
Highlighter: M.A.C Beauty Powder in Natural Flare(bought this online from a makeup artist and i rarely use it. lol)
Eyeshadow base: i usually use light cream shadow and it works well :)
Eyeshadows: ok, i'm not gonna list down one by one, just the brand (a girl will never have too much eyeshadow, right Addy?? ;) lol) MAC, Kate, Estee Lauder, Maybelline, Clinique, Bobbi Brown, NYX, SilkyGirl (the color doesnt stay long!), and some other brand that i bought from everywhere. lol.
Eyeliner: Estee Lauder, In2It, Elianto, Revlon, Kate, maybelline
Curler: bought it from Guardian RM30++ forgot which brand! lol.
Mascara: ok, for some reason, i only love Maybelline mascara. i have all Maybelline waterproof mascara! lol. two estee lauder mascara still waiting to be use (got it when i bought the blockbuster set)
Lipstick: Estee Lauder!!! Revlon Matte lipstick (been buying this color again and again!), MAC, Maybelline (only because i love the orange shades!)
Lipgloss: Estee Lauder(cant remember the exact item), MAC clear lipglass, Bobbi Brown Pink Beige
Nail Colour: OPI, Elianto, Skinfood, SilkyGirl

and i would like to add something to this list, FOUNDATION! lol.

Foundation: Estee Lauder two-way cake, Maybelline Mousse, Revlon liquid, Maybelline Mineral foundation, Revlon Mineral foundation, MAC Liquid foundation.

ok for this entry i would like to tag Aiza, Leeds, Fa, Mayam and Eta. would love to know what are you using! :)

P/s: i just realize that Opera browser is the reason why my blogger is acting up. now i'm using Explorer. lol. means i can edit my entry now! yay...
P/s/s: my mom gonna belanja me makeup after raya. lol. eyeing on Bobbi Brown this time! yayyy..

tq for the tag Addy,

Tash

Bloody....

WTF this blog is freaking boring. Why the fuck am i here?

i'm outta here. shit!

LOL.

gonna sleep now, bye!

Februari + Mei = ??

ok, tatau pasaipa aku buat benda ni. tatau nak update apa. so dok buat gatai update pasai birthday aku dgn B. ahh post saja lah!

Februari (B)

* Berfikiran abstrak. (yaka?)
* Sukakan benda yang realiti dan abstrak. (realiti, maybe. abstrak, not yet discovered kot)
* Bijak dan pintar (agree)
* Berpewatakan yang mudah berubah. (tak tak! B tak mcm tu!
* Mudah menawan orang lain. (mmg pandai pun)
* Agak pendiam. (pendiam? tipu!)
* Pemalu dan rendah diri. (ceh, tak betui!)
* Jujur dan setia pada segalanya. (agree!!)
* Keras hati untuk mencapai matlamat. (hah... sampai aku dah menyampah!)
* Tidak suka dikongkong. (elok je aku kongkong dia. kah kah kah)
* Mudah memberontak apabila dikongkong. (kadang2)
* Suka kegiatan yang lasak. (swimming dgn futsal kira lasak ka?)
* Emosinya mudah terluka dan sangat sensitif. (huh, tell me about it!)
* Mudah mempamerkan marahnya. (dgn aku takde pun marah2. org lain ada kot)
* Tidak suka benda yang remeh-temeh. (yup, agree!)
* Suka berkawan tapi kurang mempamerkannya. (suka berkawan, tp slalu tak jwb call kawan2)
* Sangat berani dan suka memberontak. (berontak dgn aku? silap org la!)
* Bercita-cita tinggi, suka berangan-angan dan ada harapan untuk merealisasikan impiannya. (yup, mmg cita2 tinggi. jgn melangit sgt sudah!)
* Pemerhatian yang tajam. (betui2.. aku gemok skit ja dia dah pasan. cilaka!)
* Suka hiburan dan sukan. (the 2 things that make our day!)
* Suka benda yang bersifat seni. (he don't have sense of seni ok!)
* Sangat romantik pada dalaman tetapi tidak pada luaran. (depan kawan2, cool je la)
* Berkecenderungan pada benda yang tahyul. (dia ni tah suka sgt percaya jin)
* Amat mudah dan boleh menjadi terlalu boros. (dia ni jimat lah)
* Belajar untuk mempamerkan emosi (yeah right!)

Mei (Tash)

* Keras hati & degil. (kah kah kah, kena batang idung sendiri)
* Kuat semangat & bermotivasi tinggi. (betui betui betui. designer kalau tak highly moivated mampoih keja tak jalan!)
* Pemikiran yang tajam. (yaka? haha)
* Mudah marah apabila tidak dikawal. (tau takpa!)
* Pandai menarik hati & perhatian orang lain . (taktau... tak sedaq pun)
* Perasaan yang amat mendalam. (mendalam????)
* Cantik dari segi mental & fizikal. (cantik.. kah kah kah... buruk gila aku rasa)
* Tidak perlu dimotivasikan. (true shit!)
* Tetap pendirian, tetapi mudah dipengaruhi oleh orang lain. (aku tak mudah kena pengaruh ok!)
* Mudah dipujuk. (tak tak.. tanya B kalau tak caya!)
* Bersikap sistematik (otak kiri). (betui betui betui)
* Suka berangan. (kah kah kah, betui kan yam!)
* Kuat daya firasat memahami apa yang terlintas di hati orang lain tanpa diberitahu. (yup, tanya la kawan2 aku! esp mayam! dia tak boleh lari punya!)
* Bahagian telinga & leher mudah diserang penyakit. (tak pun)
* Daya khayalan yang tinggi. (ni mmg 100% agree)
* Pandai berdebat. (i'm a state debater, lol)
* Fizikal yang baik. (in what sense?)
* Kelemahan sistem pernafasan. (mmg aku ada asma pun)
* Suka sastera, seni & muzik serta melancong. ( oh yesssss, saya budak seni!)
* Tidak berapa suka duduk di rumah. (mmg pun, rumah itu utk check-in-out ja!)
* Tidak boleh duduk diam. (betui2)
* Tidak punya ramai anak. (thank god!)
* Rajin dan bersemangat tinggi. (rajin? workaholic kat opis ja kot. kat umah malas!)
* Agak boros (errrr... i'm a girl, need i say more?)

A poem way back then...

Time: 7.55
venue: home
mood: errr...
currently: reading my old entry

Endy,
i was feeling bored so i browse through my old entries. i found this poem i wrote long time ago. back in 2007 i guess. cant really recall. anyway, here it is,

If you still have things called humanity,
Please remember me for eternity.
If you’re no longer in love with me,
At least give me the chance to live with memory.
If you hate me,
Don’t you ever think I’ll be abhorrence.
Even if you’re now happy,
I’ll keep waiting for thee.
If you falls on the ground,
My soul will cry with lack of sound.
If you’re not willing to have me,
I won’t be eager to go after thee.
If you already doesn’t care about me,
I’ll go away with no vacillate.
Even if you never love me,
I’ll always yearn for thee.
Sincerely,
I’ll always love you,
Till the end of my existence.

and now, it's dedicated to B. thank you.

-tash-

Went out with Aiza...

time: 00.41 a.m.
venue: home
mood: happy...
currently: chatting and listening to songs

Endy,
as the title says, i went out with Aiza, planned to go shopping in Queensbay. surprisingly Qb is only full of tshirt and jeans. i'm looking for casual dress.

so i went to BJ with her, and we basically went from ground floor to 3rd floor. i found 2 dresses and a shirt that catch my attention. i quickly bought them and head back to my mom's shop. aiza went back home herself.

i'm gonna buy more tomorrow. going to gurney or prangin tomorrow.

note: penang don't have any nice shoes/heels/stilettos to buy! shit! makes me miss kl!

Top 5 malay attitude in my mom's shop!

or boutique or whatever you wanna call it....

.....makes me sick of malay's attitude! SERIOUSLY!

1- terlebih mengada2 and cerewet. yang peliknya, kalau beli dgn cina, tak pulak cerewet.

2- tawar harga baju tak munasabah. melayu jual baju kurung Rm180 mahal, cina jual RM200 tak mahal? omg! this is not pasar malam ok. and yes people, i'm talking about good quality of korean chiffon, cotton, silk, etc. not poliester-mixed fabric!

3- mulut mcm celaka punya laser. kalau tak suka kaler ke apa ke... tak payah la kutuk tuan kedai depan2. yang peliknya aku tgk org lain beli elok je. kaler oren ke merah ke hijau ke... ada org yg minat. ang tu pelik, jakun, mai kot ceruk tok kun(ok penduduk cerok tok kun jgn mai serang aku), tak payah nak mai komen2. bukan aku matipun ang tak beli. ramai lagi customer aku ok! wei ang kutuk2 org ang posa dak?

4- masuk kedai tgn BOYFRIEND you too lepas la... i tak ngorat laaa... sorry bukan taste i tau boyfriend u tu!!! tak payah nak buat muka depan i and tarik tgn boyfriend u tu.... awwww

5- masuk kedai pastu buat muka berlagak dgn aku. pastu menggaya kan beg Gu*ss (beg yg org penang ingat mahal and branded sgt tu) and try so hard to show it off. sorry, i minat ferragamo, tak minat Gu*ss. kalau boleh James Ferragamo tu pun i nak ajak dating! ahahahah. 

ok, before you click "post comment" just to give me nasty words, let me just remind you, the thing that i reminded everyone again and again;

I'M NOT RACIST

i'm just posting the facts! not only from my experience, from others too. Take Care.

super-annoyed,

Tash

of Mixed Berries yogurt

Time: 3:28 a.m.

Venue: Home

Mood: Chilled?

Currently: Eating Mixed Berries low-fat yogurt

Endy,

if i ever to pick anyone who knows me best, it'll be Maryam. and she know it well that i dont eat yogurt. yucksssss. but now? i'm eating it and to my surprise, i'm craving for more! 

See how much i miss you, B? i even eat your fav dessert! :(

Pack your bag, book the next flight to Penang please :(

P/s: Pic courtesy of the linking site of the pic itself. :)

tash

I'm a hot brat with a hot boyfriend who killed my mom because i had to.... WTF is this!

Cik Dekkai dah tag aku. apekehal ramai sgt rajin main tag tag ni. nasib baik tag senang. main pangkah je. bedal lah!
First, add “I’m a/an” on your title, then add the rest of the answers on as you do the questions.

What color/kind of socks are you wearing?

[ ] Red = loud
[ ] Green = stupid
[ ] None = freaky
[ ] Fuzzy = gorgeous
[ ] Yellow = innocent
[ ] Purple = a little too happy
[ ] Black = emo
[ ] Stripes = funny
[ ] Gray = skanky
[ ] Pink = preppy
[ ] Light blue = sweety
[x] Other = hot
[ ] White = sexy

What kind of pants are you wearing?

[ ] Shorts = cutie
[ ]Skirt/skort = skank
[ ]Corduroy = faggot homosexual
[ ]Tight jeans = scene kid
[ ]Ripped jeans = emo
[ ]Cammo = cage fighter
[ ]Jeans = prep
[ ]Pajamas = pimp
[ ]Cargo = clown
[ ]Sweats = athlete
[x]Boxers = brat
[ ]Booty shorts = female
[ ]Capris = Gangster
[ ]Nothing = hoe
[ ]Dickies = weirdo
[ ]Bikini bottoms = tiki girl
[ ]Other = sex addict

What is your natural hair color?

[ ]Auburn = that every one wants to make out with
[ ]Blonde = with a broken heart
[ ]Black = with a sexy smile
[x]Dark brown = with a hot boyfriend/girlfriend
[ ]Red = that likes to have fun
[ ]Brown = who loves to be different
[ ]Dirty blonde= with a nice ass
[ ]Bald = with herpes

Pick the month you were born on:

[ ]1 = who ate
[ ]2 = who needed
[ ]3 = who killed
[ ]4 = who shot
[x]5 = who killed
[ ]6 = who banged
[ ]7 = who smoked with
[ ]8 = who ran shirtless with
[ ]9 = who got stabbed horribly by
[ ]10 = who cuddled with
[ ]11 = who slept with
[ ]12 = who ran naked with

Pick the day you were born on:

[ ]01 = the kool-aid man
[ ]02 = a dog
[ ]03 = a shoe
[ ]04 = a toothbrush
[ ]05 = Santa Claus
[ ]06 = my ex-es
[ ]07 = a prostitute
[ ]08 = The Trojan man
[ ]09 = a porn star
[ ]10 = a bag of weed
[ ]11 = my lover
[ ]12 = a glass of milk
[ ]13 = a horse
[ ]14 = a lesbian
[ ]15 = a stripper
[ ]16 = a pickle
[ ]17 = a jew
[ ]18 = a homo
[ ]19 = an orange
[x]20 = my mom
[ ]21 = a homeless guy
[ ]22 = a whore
[ ]23 = my crush
[ ]24 = an easter egg
[ ]25 = a jar of honey
[ ]26 = a condom
[ ]27 = a bowl of cereal
[ ]28 = a french fry
[ ]29 = your dealer
[ ]30 = Paris Hilton
[ ]31 = your grandma

Pick the color of the shirt you are wearing

[ ]White = because I love marijuana
[ ]Black = because I’m sexy as hell
[ ]Pink = Because the lil people told me to
[ ]Blue = because I have AMAZING boobs
[ ]Red = because I’m a pimp and your jealous
[ ]Polka Dots = because I hate my life
[ ]Purple = because I’m gay
[ ]Gray = because I got dare
[ ]Other = because that’s how I role
[ ]Green = because I’m good in bed
[ ]Orange = because I smoke crack
[ ]Turquoise = because I have a noodle in my nose
[x]Brown = because I had to
[ ]Shirtless = because I’ve got abs

Tag 10 people afterwards.
1.  Aiza

2. Mayam
3. Ain
4. Fa
5. Kak Miey
6. Sammy
7. Kak Wan
8. Win
9. Addy
10. Leeds
P/s: mine sounded so wrong. WTF? I'm a hot brat with a hot boyfriend who killed my mom because i had to.

Reminiscing...

Currently watching I'm Real, J. Lo feat Ja Rule.

i used to enjoy their song when i was in high school.

did anyone miss those days?

i mean, RnB has a history back then...

tash