stranger

B...

today, when i go through our picture.... i miss you.

today, when i make tea for myself.... i miss you.

today, when i watch TV series.... i miss you.

and i know that i cant cry.

i have to hold my tears.

because...

you were not there...

..... to wipe it for me.

i'm alone, left in emptiness.

deep down.... i know it well that I LOVE YOU.

right now...

i think i'm going to collapse.

without you here, supporting me, tendering me and caring bout me.

i need you in my life.

but...

i know...

i know that you wont come back.

i know that you dont even want to look at me. not anymore.

i am no more your beautiful girl.

i am no more your little girl.

i am just a stranger.

*******

God, please make me strong.

strong enough to pick up the pieces.

yes, i accept the fact that we dont belong together.

but please... please help me to get up on my own.

please make him the happiest man on earth.

please put him in the best place in the world.

that's all i ask for.

Tash

Thanks Meen!

Berikut adalah komen Meen about me:

Takder la lamer kenal...jumper pun bru lah dlm 4 kali...tp lucu..dia masih muda...tp matang..itu dpt aku huraikan...bgusla..ank2 muda berpikiran matang...dia ni selalu pikir dia tk cntik..nk jer aku hempuk...dia jgk suka ttg solek2...so...kalau saper2 nk thu ttg solek2..leh mintak pandangan tasha..tentu kamu semua kenali dia kan..tingat waktu dia..serai..ais..saper nth lagi lam room borak pasal alat kecantikan...aku ni blur..aku py muka main taram jer alat aper...tp sonok tgk pmpn2 ckp bab kecantikan...aku dpt bacer ajer..dpt jgk ilmu.time kasih tasha..jgn berhenti dr memberi ilmu kecantikan...

Skrg dh nmpk tasha kurang join room...maybe ader kesulitan..tkpe...paham...ceriakanlah room itu..walaupun meen dh tkder...

Hup hup...tingat pagi2 tasha selalu tunggu meen spin lagu2 kegemaran dia...lagu2 club dia suker sgt...hik hik hik...piz tasha...blogging khas utk tasha...

Meen ingat aku nak majuk setahun dgn dia... sebab aku komen kat previous entry dia... dia buat entry tak letak nama aku dlm list kawan2... hehee... thanks meen... aku gurau je!! siyes best kawan dgn ko.

whatever it is... dont give up YM and dont give up being my friend. because i know i'll never give up. i'm always here for you. no matter what people think bout you, just dont give a fuck about them okay. take care. much love.

Tasha

sesi mengumpat bersama budak kecik

sekian laporan dari saya.

p/s: oh yes. we were that bored. masuk page org, kutuk profile pic dia! wakaka... siap belek status tu!

p/s/s: please ignore aku punya statement tak boleh blah tu. yes aku tahu aku tak comey! wkakaka...

best kan...

mama balik umah... tanya "how are you, tasha?"

mama cook dinner... pastu ajak makan sama-sama.

mama tanya... "how's your life now?"

mama ambil berat... "lepas break up dgn B... tasha ok tak?"

wargh...

pathetic nya aku...

mengharap semua tu.

tak dapat kot?

****

don't blame me for being stiff at home.

....i'm always cold as north pole when i'm not comfortable.

don't blame me for not caring bout you guys.

....because when i care, i am called "kepoci".

don't blame me for being ignorance to whatever you said.

....i'm just too immune of your nag.

don't blame me for being grumpy.

...because believe it or not, you guys never realize, that's just me.

don't blame me for hating every single day of my life.

....because all i want to do, is just to get a degree.

***************

I love you, mama.

Yes i do.

Do you love me?

Budak celaka mana ni?

ok aku tatau apa masalah ang... sampai ang kena taip mcm tu kat aku! kalau ya pun nak post komen hatred macam tu kat chatbox aku, please jgn guna nama kawan baik aku. jangan buat perangai anak haram boleh tak? anak haram zaman la ni pun pandai pi skolah lah!!

ang ckp aku tak layak dicintai... masalahnya ramai ja mau kat aku... ang tu kot tak laku... siye la... mulut serupa lancau!

ok harap maaf. aku maki hari ni.

to dekkai... sorry, nama ko plak kena. wakaka. dia tgk ko pemes sgt kot kat blog aku ni!

aku minta maaf...

...kat korang semua

sebab last entry aku buat korang

sedih

terkejut

simpati

bla bla bla

***************

aku tahu masih ramai yg care...

masih ramai yg ambik peduli...

yes, aku sgt lucky...

ada kawan2 mcm korang...

ada aiza dgn dekkai yg tak pernah miss entry2 aku...

ada Ain yg sentiasa supportive walaupun kami jarang jumpa...

ada Hasnas yg menangis lepas baca entry aku...

ada Hasnas jugak.... yg carikan lagu Britney then post kat facebook aku...

ada Turtle yg sentiasa ada kat tepi aku...

ada mama yg sentiasa mengumpat org dgn aku...

ada Tiqah yg tak jemu2 telefon aku walaupun dia jauh di Bangalore...

ada Farah yg hari2 contact aku kat facebook....

serious...

aku sgt hargai apa yg korang buat...

aku sayang korang semua...

you guys are my strength, my every breath and my life...

i mean it.

THANK YOU EVERYONE.

p/s: entry2 ni mmg sengaja ditulis dlm bahasa melayu. padan muka yg tak paham!

I'm stronger than yesterday,

Tash

Aku Rindu....

nak bau perfume Armani dia...

nak kejutkan dia pagi2 utk kelas...

nak ingatkan student card dia...

nak antar dia pegi exam kat BBJ...

nak dgr dia complaint pasal APIIT....

nak nangis depan dia....

nak peluk dia and luah semua isi hati....

nak tgk Happy Tree Friends dgn dia...

nak tgk South Park dgn dia...

nak tgk TV Series dgn dia....

nak argue dgn dia... even for a small thing...

nak lepak coffee house dgn dia...

nak jd childish depan dia....

nak sebut crabby, chicken zombie, kro kro kro depan dia....

nak panggil dia Little Boy...

nak jd Little Girl dia...

nak masak chicken soup, spaghetty dan carbonara dgn dia.. his fav food....

serious... aku rindu waktu2 itu...

2 tahun... akhirnya kami putus jugak...

and demi Allah...

aku sedih. aku sakit. aku down. aku meraung kuat2 dlm hati.

tp sape tahu?

only he knows me best.

aku sayang dia.

sayang sangat-sangat.

korang boleh baca entry ni and gelak kuat2.

tasha sentimental? sgt tak sesuai kan?

sebab aku sentiasa kuat.

sebab aku sentiasa happy.

tp... aku pun ada hati.

serious... aku nak jumpa dia.

15th April 2008 until 18th March 2010...

****************************

Medo,

thanks for the good things we have,

thanks for the love we cherish,

thanks for sacrifices you made,

thanks for every night we spent,

thanks for every moment we laugh,

thanks for every kiss, thanks for every hug,

thanks for every advice,

thanks for every tears u wipe for me,

thanks for everything.

and..... thank you for loving me.

i hope u have a good life ahead.

Little Girl,

Tasha