Thursday, February 16, 2012

Soul searching...

What is love? Sometimes i wonder. Will it really fade, or true love just doesn't exist, and romeo and juliet stays as fiction. I need answers because from my observation, love is just a bullshit stuff. How do i determine which is right, which is wrong? I need some guidance to look into this matter. Have you ever wonder, where will a relationship leads you to? 

Yes, there's sad and happiness in every relationship. But what if all you see is darkness ahead? do you call it off and start a new one? Or do you just face the facts that no relationship is perfect. We need to work our ass out to make it perfect, to fit in into each other. The question is, if you know that you're no longer happy, why stay? Don't you just get sick of the same process again and again?

Sometimes you just wonder, why the fuck am i here? Arguing, then reconcile, argue again, make up again, had a big fight that both really got fedup of each other, then reconcile. When will this end? If you were in that situation, what is your action? 

Well, from my observation, if i'm in that situation, i'd say that he's no more interested in me. As if he's forced to be with me. The question is, why does he want to continue that relationship when he's already fedup of that girl? Why wait when he's already happy with someone else? that someone already stole his devoted attention, and now, even when he's around, you'll feel like he's just there as a statue. Doesn't really have a function. The feeling is just different. It's like having a cold beverage. You relieves your thirst, but it will never be enough.

The most confusing thing is, why things have to change? Is all men the same? They just made the best effort before they get you, and after that it's all bullshit. Am i too demanding if i want him to treat me the same way he treat me when we first started dating? Is it too much to ask? Is it the rules of universe that men just got fedup after some amount of time in relationship? Does beauty really matter in this case? When time flies, even the most beautiful woman can't keep her man loyal, because his love will just fade. Don't you just think that this is a FACT. not just my two cents of opinion.

Is there such thing as happily ever after? I don't think so. Right now, i sort of believe that love fades through time. Men will always get bored of their woman no matter what she did, No matter how much she sacrifies for him and no matter how much she have loved him. Maybe they're just blinded with the fakeness of the world. Or maybe the relationship that we all started is wrong in the first place? If so, what went wrong? Where did i do my mistake? By putting so much trust and hope on a man? By opening my heart so wide that he get the chance to steal it away and fool around with it?

Trust me, it's not worth it to have someone beside you, but not having him devoted to you. Even the smallest thing that hurt you or touch your heart. If he can't handle even the smallest responsibility, neither can't he on a big on, right? Am i asking too much from a relationship.

In life, i do believe that there's a ladder in every relationship. Friendship, lovers and family. You'll somehow develop a strange bonding, and the relationship will grow higher and higher. Relationship CAN'T stay static. It's either you climb up the ladder, or you climb down. Which will you prefer? from what i can see, most relationship among us are always declining. Why?

Imagine that you're put in that position. What will you do?

Take it, or leave it?

Archived of 26th April 2011, written via E71, by the beach.

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