Mellow down?

Dear Endy,

I was reading some of my entries. some sad, some happy, mostly sarcastic and critic towards surrounding environment. Then, come to think bout it, why was I so eloquent with that? My habit? My nature? Or I am just plain rude? Am I?

Apparently, ending of the year is usually a very sentimental moment in my life. I come to think of what I've done the whole year. Was I useful to the society? Have I done enough good deeds to people surrounding me. Who have I annoy and hurt? 

From where I'm standing right now, 2011 wasn't really a good year for me. Well, except for my studies. the rest is nonsense. I've been hiatus on so many things. i choose not to participate in a lot of important events. I tends to like being alone. Worst of all, i dont give a fuck on people anymore.

Have i become that heartless?

What's wrong with me?

reading through most of my posts, i feel like, i've been bad. i've been nasty. i think i could write better words. words that won't hurt people, yet hard enough to make them think of their action and consequences. I almost unpublished a few of my post because i was too embarrassed to read it. i was that mean bitch. 

but then again, i refuse to delete. because, whatever it is, that was me. that is the person i used to be. I don't know either any of my friends, relatives, colleagues and schoolmates could tolerate me the way I am, or, i could be a better person? Well, yeah, obviously everyone wants to be better each passing day. But, the question is, what do i need to change? Do tell me. I'm listening.

ok, i know most of my friend will be like, WTF is Tash crapping? She's been like that her entire life. hey peeps, i'm trying to be a better person. Do help me alright? For what it's worth, I curse less, I prevent myself from being sarcastic most of the time, I start to listen to others, I'm kicking off my bad habits.

Despite all that, i still use the word FUCK and BITCH a lot. 

So yeah, Tash is still Tash. 

Just trying to be better. Alright?

Tash

Orientation Leader

Alright, let's come clean, I sit at home all day long, thinking what to post for today's entry. I almost gave up on today's content. that's how bad I am at writing nowadays!!!

then, this email came in:

LOL..... this just made my day!

Such a good start for new year! 2012 is so gonna be a good year. It is my year btw. DRAGONNN!!!

I'm back, I promise!

Hello fellow bloggers!

Yes,

i've been missing for the whole year. WTF happen to me? Truth is, i've lost interest to update my blog. but i do feel empty without having a schedule to write something everyday. So, i guess i'm back to this line. Gonna start writing starting today onwards. might be a tough one to follow though, since i've leave blogging world for so long. so pardon me for my bad grammar and lack of vocabulary. i've lost the dictionary in my head! 

*****

So, what's up with you guys? How's life? Yes, i really mean this question. do drop by and comment. i do read everyone's comment. My life have been kinda crooked this year. well, there's three things that happen to me during this year. 

first, i dump Jack last year. he's a total jerk. doesn't really matter now. i have someone better. oh yeah, feel free to judge me. i can jump into relationship faster than a train. life is short, why spend time to think either he's the one or not? just be with him and see if it works. for now, i'm still on a fence bout this new guy. 

second, as i posted earlier, i finally continue my degree. I'm doing B.A. (Hons) Graphic Communication Design at Taylor's University, Lakeside Campus. so, if anyone happens to be there, do contact me. we could go for a  drink or something. it's a nice place to hangout. i've finish my first semester, A VERY TOUGH FIRST SEMESTER, and i'm not even happy with my results. Taylor had been a different study environment for me. i mix with the right student, go to class religiously, attendance is 98%, stay back till 5a.m. just to finish up a project, meet my lecturer everyday and yada yada yada. so, i am very disappointed when i get bad result. anyways, i will make sure my next semester will be better, and more A for me! This is my dream for heaven's sake. i need to work my ass up!

(will upload the pic of the result once my internet is fine)

third, i think i lost all of my bestie. for some reason, they seems so far away. maybe it's something i did, maybe it's something i said, i don't know. i tried asking, and nobody gave me the exact answer. so yeah, i guess i'll just let it go and move on with my life. i will make new friends, which i already have, and start a really fresh new life. i will never let anyone interfere into my feelings anymore. nobody could make me feel bad, even though i lost my bestie or whatsoever. 

anyways people, i will be having 3 months holiday. My next intake will be on April the 8th. i think i will enroll into drawing and painting class during this holiday. need to enhance my skills for next semester. 

Lastly, Welcome back Tash to blogging world. I've missed this actually. blogging for me is like soul searching. to write what i feel, and whatever that i like. it's very refreshing. i want to have that feeling once again. 

I'm back, I promise!

Till then.

Tasha Leow

Condolences

My deepest condolences to Kak Mynn who lost her father on 24th December 2011.

Yaasin.