Tuesday, March 31, 2009

2 weeks and a day left...

time:11:32 a.m.
venue: home
mood: confused.
currently:busy planning my life?

scroll down to the end of this blog. you'll find what's the title all about.

About a year ago, i found one of my friend in AC. well, we knew each other back in the year of 2006, as college-mate. he was a computer science student, and we knew each other through friends. as everyone knows, i know almost everyone in School of Computer Technology.why? because i'm supwe talkative! lol... nahh... another reason is, i'm alwats taking part in any party held there. not to forget the carnival and activities.

ok what am i nagging about now? it's already out of topic. ahh... i just miss the old days!

anyway, the memorable meet up in AC turns us closer. we became good friend and started to meet up even more frequently. one day, with curiousity to investigate something for Tasha Renee, i went to Bukit Jalil to stay in my other friend's place, Jabir. i stayed there for 4 days and i met all the APIIT gang! wow, they're such a nerd. lol... dont be mad, guys. just my first impression. they were cool. we hang out, went to the SUPER "GREAT" Endah Parade, which is the only shopping mall available there, went to the Komanwel lake, went to the stadium and etc.

lots of stuff we did, i didn't realize that i'm getting closer and closer to him. well, i believe we have the same inspiration, the same thinking, same interest... err... maybe not all... and most important of all, we're so liberal that we respect each others philosophy. yes, we hold a very different philosophy. but it doesnt set us apart. it just makes us argue and argue more. i love it when a guy had something to say to me, instead of being quiet, listening to me talking and talking and talking.

now, almost a year gone. we're still good friend. instead, i could call him, best friend. we shared our life together. being crazy as usual. hanging out in our favourite coffee house. he taught me arabic food. i taught him malay stuff. he could speak a lil bit of malay. i started to fall in love with Lebanese, Yemeni and Persian food. i respect his time. he respect mine. we got along just fine. we just blend in together. i love it.

i realized that i really really love him. yes, it took me lots of thinking and time to realize that i really love him. yeah, there's some stuff that i dont like bout him, and there's some stuff that he dont like about me. well, that's what i call a relationship. to blend in together, not changing each other. i feel happy whenever i meet him. and i wanna be with him like forever. i wish i could see the future of us.

sometimes, i'm scared. i might get hurt again. the same love story could happen, AGAIN. i dont want to be hurt. but if i were to be too protective over myself, then it wouldnt be LIFE. life is about tasting every single colour of it. life is about being in love, achieving great stuff, eat great food, went everywhere to check out whats there and life is about being noticed by others. just when i started to get scared, i remembered one of my favourite quote that i always say whenever i felt insecure.

if you love something, set it free. if it comes back, it is for you. if not, it wasn't meant to be...

yes, i believe in it. and i'm holding to it. and with this as my philosophy, i will gamble my life with him. not knowing the end scares me sometime, but hey, i'm a grown lady. i can handle this. i know i can. i can survive anything. just anything. i'm 100% sure that he's the one for me. i knew he is. i just hope that he think it that way too. i love it when he said that he loves my heart first before my looks. well, not that i'm pretty though. i'm a plain jane. not a fancy smancy girl.

today, now, sitting down in my room, i'm thinking, 2 weeks left for that very special day. with all the crisis we're having now. with all the problems in my head. with all the planning that is undone. in short, with everything still scattered everywhere, how do i face that special day. what should i do? what should i get him? what? what? what? it's still a big question mark for me.

then, he's leaving to Yemen, his hometown. i'm gonna miss him, a lot. i'll turn crazy for missing him. i hope i could bare this distance. as i said 2 years ago, in this very blog, DISTANCE IS LOVE BIGGEST ENEMY. i hope we could survive this. i dont wanna lose him, before even starting our journey together, as a lover. he will not be here for my birthday in 20th May. i will be sad. i know i will. celebrating one of the most important date in our life without one of the most important person is really painful.

what the hell am i thinking now? shit shit shit! stop thinking negatively! he's going back just for holidays, idiot! you dumbass tasha! he'll be back. i knew he will. i believe in him. because i love him.

before i go, i just wanna wish you,


and hell no, i didnt try to hide our relationship. i'm just waiting for the right time. i guess this is the right time. i'm happy with you.

Tash Love Medo

i'm proud i'm yours,

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