Waiting?

Time: 2:09 a.m.
Venue: My room
Mood: BLurr
Condition: only 90% healed! 10% still stuck!
Currently: Listening to Tony Bennett songs!

Endy,
well, i went to klcc today... thought of buying my Sony E010 MP3. actually i like the NW-HD5 mp3... but it's not in the market... well, no mood of talking bout gadget right now... i'm kinda tired anyway... i woke up at 6 and went to klcc around 12... then went to AC at 8.... play there until 1 just now...i planned to sleep right after bath... but right now i just can't sleep... and i dont even know what kinda nonsense am i typing right now... but i just feel miserable... haha... i dont know why... i'm a bit pissed anyway... well, cut it short.... i have mixture of feelings right now... hahaha... so, how long am i gonna wait? forever? hurm... when can my heart really let go? why am i still hoping? why am i still missing? and the most fucked up thing is, why am i still loving? Nick! help me! i need you here... i really feel miserable... how am i gonna deal with this without you by my side... i need my best buddy here.... at least you could advice me with your wise words....

well, i was suppose to be on a date today... but i cancelled it last minute. i'm sure he's gonna be hurt... i didnt give him any excuses... i'm sorry... i knew you're lonely in Malaysia... i promise i'll meet you before you go back to Australia! i'm gonna miss you and i'm sorry for not accepting you as my special person... i'm just stuck... this is not the right time to have a serious relationship... now i'm selfish... i just want the best for myself... hurm... Endy... i think i'll continue next time... i'm so tired.... wish me a sweet dream ok??? hopefully like the sweetest dream that i had that day! love you Endy... bye...

waiting?
Natasha Farhana Leow

Just another busy day!

Time: 5:48 p.m.
Venue: My room, Subang
Mood: a bit down

Endy,
phew... it's been quite a while huh since the last time that i really type here.... well, i'm just dropping by today... i'm gonna sleep later on... not feeling well.... i'm sick... and the worse sickness of all is i'm love sick... i'm missing someone... yeah... there's still 10% of me which doesnt heal... and today that 10% came out... this few days i've been busy with college... registering myself into 4th semester and dealing with changes in SCT... we have new Head of School named Dr. Wong... phew... i dont think this is the right time for me to talk bout college... maybe i'll talk bout it next time... well, i met my crush yesterday... i was happy... i knew he like me too... it's just that we're holding back... and this time there's no way of me going to confess anything... i'm gonna build a big wall between us... no more relationship! it's just a crush... no big deal... well, i dont know what am i thinking right now... but i suddenly feel very lonely... i shouldnt come back to subang that soon... gosh i miss my mom... Endy, did you finish reading my previous blog??? what do you think??? hurm.... am i normal? phew... life's hard... i'm currently sms-ing with that guy... well.. i'm sorry... i cant take anyone seriously now... it's just me and myself now... yeah... i'm selfish now... i'm sorry... ok Endy... i'll continue next time... i woke up at 7 this morning... i'm sleepy now... having headache! bye... i love you Endy... rest in peace ok!

i miss him,
Natasha