Waiting...

Time: 12:30 p.m.
Venue: My room
Mood: Sad
Condition: unstable feeling...
Currently: Missing someone..

Endy,
first of all, i'm sorry for not writing to you this 2 days... well, i didnt do anything much... just chilling at home and hang out with my housemate... i went to Carrefour yesterday with Emi... planned to buy table... but ended up buying junks... hahaha... hurm... i think i felt better nowadays... and i think i'm prepared for any decision he's making... i dont know Endy... i dont understand him... hurm... i think i'll do as what i said to you earlier... i'll just let him go... remember those words? if you love something, set it free... if it come back, it was for you.. if not, it was not meant to be... now.. i can just wait and see... well... next week i'll be going back home anyway... meet my siblings... meet my mama... my papa... meet all of my crazy and retarded friends... hahaha... i miss all of them... i think i've abandon them since i came here... i'm sorry people... hurm... i wanna chat with my friends now... i'll continue later??? bye...

i love you,
Natasha

Lonely & unsecure...

Time: 12:50 p.m.
Venue: My sad room
Mood: Frustrated
Condition: almost give up
Currently: building up my trust in him..

Endy,
i dont know why... everybody seems to be against us... everybody says that i shouldn't wait for him... but i insisted... i wanna wait for him.... well... everybody says that he didnt treat me well... we're lack of communication... yes... i admit that... but... i knew he have things to do... if i dont understand him, who would?? right?? yes... sometimes i doubt bout him... but i think my love for him had beat all of the unnecessary feelings... i love him so much... i have too much to think of... i've dissapointed my family... i rejected so many opportunity... but now... the only thing i have is love... at least i have something to be proud of... and i knew i'll work harder to improve my cgpa back... phew... it's seriously hard Endy... i wish i could stop all this... right now.. i'm feeling so stress... i cant wait to go back penang... i wanna meet my mom... my dad... my brothers... at least i could talk to them... i miss my bro so much!! miss all the football match we have... basketball game... miss playing ps2 with them... miss arguing with them... i miss fighting with them... pheww.... miss everything bout my family...

right now... i'm worried Endy... am i doing the right thing?? am i waiting for someone who really love me?? he didnt answer my question Endy... i felt unsecure... i asked him few times... do you love me? i dont know either he refuse to answer... or it's just the connection... i dont know... should i give up?? well... u know me... i could wait even another one decade... i just need some sure answer... even though we cant be together after this because of certain circumstances, i'll take that as fate... at least i knew he love me... it's just fate... that we dont belong together.... what should i do now Endy?? i didnt sms him these days... i just want to give him a break... i know he need some space... so i think i should leave him alone...

one thing for sure... i dont want him to treat me nicely just because he pity me... i dont fix things that way... i dont want anybody to accept me just because he pity me or whatever... i want him to accept me because he have the same feelinds there... i'd rather suffer not having him than having him with the word pity! i dreamt bout him every night now Endy... i woke up every morning perspirating... u know me right... i rarely dream of anything... maybe i was just thinking too much... Endy... i think i need to go now... feel like crying now... bye...

i felt lonely & unsecure,
Natasha

Answer???

Time: 11:32 p.m.
Venue: My room
Mood: Depressed
Condition: tired
Currently: Missing him...

Endy,
i just came back from bandar puteri... went to eat blackpepper steak there... not really nice... maybe because i was feeling down... i miss him so much... i dont know what do he feels right now... seems that we're so apart right now... maybe i'm the only one missing him... do you think that i should let him go??? maybe i'm just burdening and torturing him... i dont want him to take it that way... i'm sorry if do make you feels that way... i love you so much... that's why i'm bugging you.... i dont know why... i felt so unsecure right now... i think that you're not serious with me... i hope my feelings turn out wrong... i dont want that to happen.... can i cry now Endy??? hurm... i'll talk to you later... got to go... bye...

i'm still waiting for your answer,
Natasha

Confused...

Time: 10.46 p.m.
Venue: My room... as usual...
Mood: hurm... i dont know...
Condition: kinda ok... healing or just dont care... i dont know...
Currently: tempted...

Endy,
hurm... just came back from ss15... went to eat spaghetty in Pizza Hut just now... well.. kinda rare for me to eat italian right?? hehehe... well... i pass up my assignment today.... miss Sara seems to like it... i hope i'll get high marks for that poster... it's kinda simple... but i like it... well... u know i love abstract art right?? hehehe... i bought photography magazine just now in ss15... hehehe... browsing through the magazine... i went to play pool just now with Alyaa... hahaha... kinda bored today.. i have no mood to play... suprisingly huh??? hehehe... i was suppose to be happy to play pool.... he didnt answer my question endy... i dont know why.... what's happening???? well... now... i just dont want to think bout it... i'd prefer to think that evertyhing is going fine... and i just wanna finish this semester quickly and go home.... i'll be having one month holiday... phew... what a relieve... i really need a break Endy... i'm hurt enough... i'm stressed enough... i wish i could runaway from this problem!! huh.... i'll continue later ok???



p/s: that's the screenshot of my poster... it turn out nice after i print it out in A3 size.. hehe..

i'm frustrated,
Natasha

First Blog Here..

Time: 7:50 a.m.
Venue: My room, Lagoon Perdana Apartment, Sunway City, Selangor.
Mood: Blur blur...
Condition: half-awake
Currently: listening to songs! haha..

hurm... this is my first time writing here... i have few blogs in other server... this place seems to be interesting... well... let me introduce myself, since i'm new here... i'm Natasha... you can call me either Natasha or Tasha... or to be formal... call me Miss Leow... hahaa... i'm a student... currently enrolling in Sunway University... well... i'm a multimedia student... gonna finish my 3rd semester very very soon... what else?? huh... oh ya... i'm from Penang!!!! haha... how can i forget that???? i miss Penang! well... if you wanna read my previous blog... you could go to my Yahoo 360 Blog! hehhehe... hurm... but for your info... nowadays... my blog post mood are always sad... because someone special in my life is not here with me... hahaha... so if you dont like having the sad mood... you could skip that blog!! hhahaha... basically, my blog will be bout myself... what i do everyday and what i feel everyday... ahh.... cut it short... i just write whatever cross my mind!! hahahaa... usually i'll start my blog with the "time, venue... etc..." thingy... that's my style of writing... hehehe... and i'll usually write someone's name... which is Endy... well... lots of people been asking who is he... he's actually my best buddy who pass away cause of lung cancer.... so all of my blog are actually dedicated to him... writing a blog is just like i'm talking to him... so... i hope you'll enjoy my writing... thanks for dropping by... hehehe... take care!

till then,
Natasha