That beautiful moment.

The moment he look straight into her eyes,
The moment he holds her hand tights and never want to let go,
The moment she cried in front of him for the first time,
The moment he wipes her tears,
The moment he kiss her forehead for the first and last time,
The moment she asked him to fulfill her last wish,
The moment she saw his watery eyes,
The moment he agreed to fulfill her wish,
The moment she saw his car driving away,
The moment she realized that it was her decision,
The moment she realized that she have to let him live his life,
The moment she realized that she loves him,

That moment will be there as part of her memory, lighting through her days, as she walk through life with a lil bit of courage and beautiful memories.

True story.

Abah's Advice on Marriage

"Natasha, when you pass too much of the marriage opportunity, one day you will not even feel like getting married. It will pass by you. You have pass too many opportunity now. Trust me, being lonely is not a great feeling. I am a born loner. You are not. You cannot take me as an example. Think carefully before you let go of a great man."

A father's advice 1 o'clock in the morning. I'm stunned. I replied;

"Abah, I think i'm doing the right thing. I have my reasons. I will get through this. Thanks for your thoughts!"

I love you, Abah. You mean the world to me!

I miss Kuala Lumpur!

Gua rindukan kesibukan Kuala Lumpur. Gua rindukan sahabat susah senang Kuala Lumpur. Gua rindukan hidup penuh dugaan Kuala Lumpur. 

Kuala Lumpur banyak mengajar erti hidup pada gua. 8 tahun hidup merantau, cukup mendewasakan. 

I miss you, KL. Wait for me, I'll be back to continue my journey!

Pelajaran Hidup 101

Dulu-dulu masa zaman teenagers, kawan mama saya pesan (sambil hisap rokok), "Nak jadi jalang, biar sampai pakai Mercedes".

Kata-kata tu memberi kesan yang amat mendalam pada saya, sebab lepas tu saya nampak dia balik naik Mercedes, 20th anniversary gift from her husband katanya. Kahkahkah.

Moral of the story yang dia cuba sampaikan: No man is ever worth it to fool around with you. Keep yourself for your man.

Sahabat?

Kita tak nampak hati seorang sahabat. Kita cuba berikan yang terbaik. Apabila kita disalahsangka, tiba masanya kita mengundurkan diri. Sakit rasanya ditikam. Tolong cabut pisau tu boleh?

P/s: Gua mmg tak boleh berkawan dgn pompuan ah. ade je masalah.

Sahabat.

Dear Zainul Fariz, Faizol Kamaruddin, Aiza Rahman,

aku sayang angpa. Takdak satu manusia pun dlm dunia ni boleh ganti hangpa tiga. You guys knows the best of me and the worst of me, yet, you guys stays with me, high and low.

Yup, aku memang tgh tak betui. Tiba-tiba post entry macam ni. Hahaha. Just wanted you guys to know that i will definitely collapse without the 3 of you.

Faizol is happily engaged to Murni and will be getting married soon.
Fariz is deeply in love with his Dayang.
Aiza is currently pregnant of my first nephew/niece.

Yay! I'm truly happy for us.

2008

Once upon a time, in the year of 2007, 14th February 2008 to be exact, I had the best date of my life.

Today he is someone's husband and I am happy for him.

And yes, I still keep those things you gave me even though it hurts.

Because that's how much I love you, even though we're not meant to be together.

Cheers!

An Innocent Conversation I Had :)

Pi makan nasik kandaq sorang2 td kat market Bayan Baru. Pastu ralit menyembang dgn budak darjah 3. Mula2 aku ckp melayu, dia gagap2 nak jawab. Pastu dia tanya, "can you speak English? my melayu not very good." Dia tanya aku apa language peberet aku. Dia kata language peberet dia is English. Aku jawab "saya suka cakap bahasa melayu, because it's my mother tongue. we must always be proud of our culture". Sejam gak la aku sembang dgn dia.

Dia ckp dia nak jd putih cam aku. Baru pretty katanya. aku kata kat dia semua kaler pun lawa. kena appreciate diri kita. that's the best makeup ever! Pastu dia kata nanti besaq nak kaler rambut cam aku. Dia kata dia mai tegoq aku pun pasai aku blonde. Kahkahkah.

Dia cerita dia baru dpt 10A masa exam (gila budak zaman lani darjah 3 dah 10 exam paper). Dia kata cita-cita nak jadi seorang cikgu. nanti nak beli rumah besaq and keta besaq. nak bagi amma and appa dia duduk bilik bawah, pasai nanti depa tua tak larat nak naik tangga.

Hebat pemikiran anak kecil. Cukup lurus dan jujur. I would say, the most honest conversation i had in a very long time. It's very refreshing. Aku pesan kat dia, "no matter what you do in life, you must always hold strong to amma and appa, and you will be successful as ever". Not sure dia akan ingat atau tak, but i sure hope she will succeed in life <3 p="">

Buat Mama & Abah :)

Tiada apa yang lebih aku inginkan, melainkan melihat kami berlima seperti ketika itu. 
Tiada apa yang lebih aku inginkan, melainkan perjuangan sebuah cinta yang terbina selama 28 tahun diteruskan. 

Benarkah, tiada lagi rasa antara mereka? 

Abah,
Demi cinta,
Kau tinggalkan agama,
Kau tinggalkan keluarga,
Kau tinggalkan semuanya,
Untuk memperjuangkan apa yang kau rasa.

Mama,
Demi cinta,
Kau hidup derita,
Kau selalu kecewa,
Kau jadi seorang wira,
Juga untuk memperjuangkan apa yang kau rasa.

Sudah lupakah semua itu? Segala perit lelah membina satu kehidupan, ditentangi orang sekeliling, hanya kerana kita keluarga campuran.

Aku masih ingat. 
Orang cakap, "anak cina makan babi".
Orang cakap, "bapak kau cina bukit".
Orang cakap, "Natasha mesti jadi jalang nanti tak cukup didikan agama".

Alhamdulillah, 
Aku buktikan hasil anak cina bukit itu berilmu agama.
Abah buktikan dia mampu jadi lebih baik dari mereka.
Mama buktikan keluarga kami lebih bahagia dari mereka.

Jadi,
Apa silapnya?
Di mana silapnya?

Siapa aku untuk mempersoalkan?

Sebagai seorang anak, aku mendoakan yang terbaik buat kamu berdua. 

Mama, Abah, 28 years have got to mean something in your relationship. 
Think it over.

Tasha.

Hello everyone!

Hey Endy,

It's been a while since i'm here. I was browsing through my blogs. surprisingly, i have so much things that i've forgotten about. I even recall back how much i love him, just through 1 post. That's crazy! This blog have so much emotion and life in it. I really should never stop writing.

It's even awkward to write right now. i think i even lose the spark in writing. Will try my best.

Your forever and always,
Tash.